This is based off a vision i had a while ago, it isnt true and is over exaggerated for the sake of the story. if you're struggling with anything mentioned within the story please get help, you're life is very very important, if you need someone to t...
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To my best friend.
I don't know what I'd have done without you all these years, you've listened to me, been a therapist toward me, helped me with my shitty love life, helped with family issues. you have also been there each an every single time I have tried to kill myself and I've been self destructive. You were always there. I don't know why, I don't understand why you always wanted to stick around, never the less, you did and I'm extremely grateful because you gave me a best friend for life. I wish we could have made more memories together, however I can't keep living a life I don't want and clearly this life isn't for me anyways, all you have to do is look back at everything I've been through. I know you're not going to take this easily, you always worry about me, which in a way is sweet, but I'd rather you didn't...especially this time, I want this, I want to be dead, so please, don't take me to hospital I don't want to go back their. They all know me there and if I did have to go back they'd send me to a physic ward and I really don't want that, they smell funny and there is never any freedom, when I'm there I never feel like I should be 'cause I'm not 'ill enough' and all the kids judge me. I hate as much as being alive.
what I want you to do though, keep doing well at school and don't let your grades slip. If you ever have any problems come to my grave and ramble about it, I'll always listen and have time for you. I wont be doing much in hell anyways. If you haven't got time to visit my grave or you feel lost or alone either look at the sky and watch for the sunsets or look for blue butterflies 🦋 I'll be there, I promise you. I know this is difficult for you and you probably hate yourself for not being able to 'save' me but I don't want to be saved. please, try your absolute hardest not to follow the same route as me. I remember when we were 14 we made this deal that if the one goes so does the other but I don't care about that, I want you to stay here, I want you too live a good (now stress free) life. go to university. go get your dream job. go do the stuff you like. I want you to -pinky- promise me one specific thing, please don't forget me.
Thank you for making me want to live that little bit more and thank you for giving me hope one last time, thank you for giving me a chance and not leaving once you know what I'm really like. I really wouldn't have made it this far in life without you by my side <3
I love you, more, Will.
-From Daz
I sealed the envelope and wrote his name in my scruffy cursive handwriting, I lift up my mattress and put it with J's and wait for the time to give it to them. Things round the house have been quiet, I've been trying to act like I'm okay and that I'm actually getting better while in reality I'm sinking further into my sadness and I have completely lost myself.
