He promised us...

He was 'Matilda'

Dazza's childhood trauma

when Daz was very little as a punishment he would be hit and screamed at, this doesn't help as to why he dislikes loud noises and sometimes flinches when someone raises their hand too quickly near them. 

 age 9 when Dazza's brother was 16. 

He was caught doing many inappropriate things, was spoken too by police and as a result he wasn't allowed to see his half siblings. 

Daz believes this is what caused them to have attachment issues along with another reason

that being, he used to be a she. she was daddies little girl, but as she grew older she became a he and lost that bond with his father. 

throughout Daz's high school life he struggled with, self harm, an eating disorder, suicidal thoughts, an attempt and sexual assault.

Daz always knew he was the odd one out within the family but never imagined to be treated that way too. Kinda changed once Daz claimed to have been sexually assaulted, he was telling the truth but none of his family took it that way and where mad at Daz for getting a social worker and police officer out. on the 18th May the case was closed and from that day Daz died inside. 

he was treated as an outcast from that day on. his sister was always the favorite child - then again it had been that way from the start. His sister wasn't a trouble maker or as fucked up as Daz, probably why she was the fave. Daz searched for parental figure material in any adult that was nice too him, he knew it wasn't healthy but he didn't know what else to do- his older brother was gone, and -not physically- but so where his parents. Daz saw his friends and spencer bear more as family than his real family, most likely cuz he was an out cast. 

Daz actually blames a lot of stuff on himself, the way he acts and stuff, people try to tell him different but he just can't shake the feeling. Daz always knew there was something off about himself, its just as a kid he'd never have imagined he would be a boy, he'd be mentally ill, wouldn't see his big brother anymore and wouldn't be mom and dad's special kid. he was different. As Daz grew up he'd make jokes and say it was cuz he was gay but sometimes he thinks it wasn't too far from the truth. Daz was the only member of the immediate family who was apart of the LGBTQIA+ community and took the subject very seriously. 

Dazza sometimes wishes he were different and that he wouldn't have figured things out so quickly, after all he was a kid. Daz tried to heal so many times over and in the end it only worsened for him, so he gave up, he took the easy way out. 

A/N: THANK YOU SM FOR READING THIS ALL THE WAY THROUGH, I KNOW AT TIMES ITS TRIGGERING AND AT OTHERS ITS CRINGE ASF BUT IM NOT THE GREATEST OF WRITERS AND THIS IS PURLEY BASED ON A VISION I HAD, WITH SOME ADDED IDEAS AND WAS THEN EXAGGERATED AT PARTS OF THE STORY. THE STUFF ABOUT THE TRAUMA- IS MENT TO BE RELATIVE TO THE STORY VERSION OF DAZ AND NOT ME BUT WHILE WRITING IT I FOUND MYSELF STARTING TO TALK ABOUT MY TRAUMA'S :3 

THE END :(