Monster ≫ h.s

1.6

🎵"to be alone with you" by sufjan Stevens

m a i s y

So he wanted to know my secrets, I wasn't quite sure if I could tell him.

"Oh, I see."

"I've always been a troubled person maisy. I suffer from manic depression because I'm bipolar, I've been dealing with it ever since I was a kid." He said tracing his fingers against the floor.

He continued whilst tracing the floor, "It's never been particularly easy for me. When I get into my mood swings, I do stuff I'm not proud of. The boys don't know, they wouldn't trust me like they do. It's crucial that they never find out." He spoke quietly.

He could trust me, "I would never tell them, if that's what you mean."

He continued "My father was bipolar as well, my sister and mother were always so afraid. I did my best to protect them, one night my father came back severely drunk. He started beating my mother because she was shielding my older sister."

I wanted to say something but I didn't know what could comfort him.

"I got so mad, and I took a trophy from a shelf and cracked him in the skull. He died from the damage in about a minute. I was young, I just wanted him to stop hurting them. It was ruled self-defense."

"Im so sorry Harry, about your childhood." I responded uncovering my mouth.

"It's not your fault I was born like this. I'm dangerous and uncontrollable and the next moment I'm perfectly fine. My mother used to make me go to a psychiatrist, I stopped going when I turned eighteen."

"Did talking about it help? Or did it just make you angrier?"

He looked over at me, "Don't know, sometimes I get really depressed, and I take a cigarette, makes me feel closer to death. It's slow and torturous, everything I deserve. Guess I just wanted to tell you, so you know why I act the way I do. You deserve that."

"Thank you. Despite what you may think I've had some equally traumatizing events during my childhood."

"That not all of it, I see things, hear things. It's like wherever I go I can feel the death and pain nearing. I bring death with me, it lurks around me." He whispered "I'm not crazy I swear I'm not crazy maisy."

I nodded my head simply, but I was scared to death he sounded completely insane. "I believe you Harry. I'll tell you why I don't like cigarettes, I've had a very bad experience with them."

"When I was younger I used to go over my father's brothers house. He was always so nice, smart, just a kind man. But his wife was strange, peculiar, she didn't seem all together. Lots of times she would take pills for her back, she took so many. I would only visit to see my cousin, Will and Sage. With sage being a girl, we were a lot closer. We would play together all the time, especially hide and seek. She was such a quiet girl like me." I said looking at Harry.

He held my hand tightly, and I continued my story, "Her mom smoked everyday, one day she took too many pills and she knocked herself out. She didn't extinguish the cigarette out completely and the whole house went up into flames with the lacquered finished wooden walls. Everything was blurry, I couldn't breathe and I was so scared. It was only Sage and I, Will was at one of his friends that day."

I took a long deep breath before I continued.

"I had fallen down a set of stairs and cut my leg. I couldn't walk, thankfully my uncle had come back from his shift and found me. He risked his life for me, and h-he was going to go back for sage. I remember him asking where she was, I couldn't think, or r-remember. I was in a state of shock and I couldn't h-help." I cried.

Harry held wrapped his arms tightly around me, encouraging me.

"Sage died in the fire, due to collapsed lungs, her mother died shortly after the fire in the hospital due to severe burns. It was a terrible time in my life, and somehow it's one that won't leave me. Ever. This scar reminds me everyday, one single cigarette, it kills Harry and I know you think you deserve that. But you really don't. "

I slid up my skirt to show him the scar I had received from that day...it was a thin jagged line that traveled from my hip a few inches down my inner thigh. It was an ugly thing to remind me of a tragic memory.

His fingers trailed over my scarred skin slowly. He looked amazed. Over and over again his fingers slowly traced it, as if he were trying to brand the pattern in his mind.

"Beautiful" he whispered.

"Y-you think?" I asked.

"I know, maisy. There is nothing that could ever make me think differently of you. I love everything about you. This-amazes me...Your imperfections and knowing you on a deeper level. I'm sorry if I ever caused you any pain. Just know I would never purposely hurt you."

I nodded, "of course."

"I feel so much better with this off my chest, I just needed to tell someone. The fact that your accepting, maisy, I can't tell you how great that makes me feel. I thought for sure you'd think I was insane, Having someone to trust. Someone I can be alone with until the end of time."

I gave him a small smile, his hands wrapped over mine, he killed me. He was so happy but he sounded truly insane sometimes, god it made me so damn sad.

"You're not so bad Harry, despite your imperfections. I think I can help you, really I do." I complimented.

He looked at me,  it was harder to find his inner beauty because of his actions. When he was like this he was such a great guy. His ivy green eyes gleamed in the light. His chiseled jawline and dark tousled curly locks, crazy.

But it worked, it was just a given that anything he did in his life worked. I felt a little happy to have such a devoted person in my life. I leaned up and have him a quick short kiss on the lips. Immediately a slight blush crept on my cheeks.

A mix of confusion and happiness was spread across his face, "w-what was that for?" He asked his eyebrows pulled down slightly.

"For the truth, I uh- I should get to sleep. I'm really tired and it's awfully late. G-goodnight Harry."

"Goodnight angel."

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Fuck me, so I wrote a really nice fucking chapter and half of it while posting didn't show up. So now I have to rewrite it and I'm fucking mad because it took a long time to write. And now it's not gonna be as good. Im seriously over wattpad. when I post this I probably won't be on for a for a bit because what's the point if my work is bad.
I'm am so pissed off.

Anyway
QOTC-
If you could travel anywhere where should you travel?
For me I'd travel to Harry's bed ayyyyyyye. Lol no but I'd seriously love to travel to California.