Monster ≫ h.s

4.1

🎵Première Gymnopédie by Erik Satie

h a r r y

It was wrong of me to love her, but I did. This has been the hardest few months of my entire existence. I watched as she sat on the back porch reading some book looking beautiful as ever.

I was covered by the darkness of night, my safety from her traveling eyes. She seemed in no hurry to move from her spot, so I took this time to get something I knew she still had.

I turned stalking to the front of her house the town was quiet and still. I climbed up the tree that was ever so conveniently placed next to the balcony to her room and the door was open. She had always been so careful to lock every window and door.

I liked to think maybe she was leaving it open for me, so I could come to her when I was ready... but she was sadly mistaken. I could not be with her. It was going to be the tragic love story of two people who had loved at the wrong time, with the wrong conditions, and we simply couldn't find our way back to each other.

I looked around the pale grey room, so this was it, I finally had the honor of residing in it. It smelled of old books and peppermint. I walked to the door and locked it just incase she decided to come back.

I walked around her room flipping through the books, the bright pinks and yellow jumping off  the pages from the highlighting of important  quotes and words. It was a quirk of hers that I loved dearly.

I had trailed my fingers over the fabric of her comforter. I was restless, I hadn't seen her run in a while maybe she didn't quite feel like running. I couldn't believe she was actually finished high school, my angel had done a lot of growing up since I last talked to her.

It had only been one week since I last saw her so close, and unfortunately I had slipped up, she too had seen me at her graduation. God did I feel terrible leaving. She probably thought she was going mad but she wasn't, she was so terribly smart.

I sat in her chair spinning around slowly, everything was so tidy, carefully placed and straight. She really did want to be perfect in every way.

Finally my eyes caught what I needed. I got up and tucked it inside my coat. I heard something downstairs, she was coming back. I quickly unlocked the door and exited her room, climbing down from the balcony.

I was going back the way I had came...when I looked back at her back porch, and oddly enough she was in the exact position I had left as if she had never left. So I decided to stay and watch her for a bit.

I crouched down behind the tree lines hidden behind the shadows. Maisy got up from her porch turning on this old record and suddenly the air was filled with the beautiful solemn piano of premiere Gymnopédie.

I got so sad it reminded me of how she and I danced that night, how I had whispered sweet nothings into her ear and promises of eternal bliss.

I got up from my spot moving a bit closer so I could see her better. She started slowly twirling around the dimly lit porch, her arms were raised as if she was imagining arms were around her body, around her waist.

She stopped and I wasn't sure why maybe because it felt silly, or maybe because it didn't carry the same beauty that it had when it was done together. It just wasn't the same.

"Mind if I join you?"

Her head turned to the back door, and there in the doorway stood some man about my age with dark hair.

She nodded allowing him to enter. He grabbed her gently and they began to dance and something within me surged.

She rested her head on his shoulder and they spun around the deck. Slowly his lips met hers and she pulled back looking confused. My hands balled and it took everything in me not to tear them apart and hurt him badly.

"I've missed you." He confessed.

"I missed you too." She said, sounding very sincere as if she meant every single word.

Hearing her speak those words hurt more than I could ever describe. It broke me, I didn't want to witness this.

"I'm so glad that your okay, I was so worried about you, you know that?." He said brushing a piece of hair out of her face.

"Well I'm okay now." She said as he held onto her closely, they moved around the room slowly to the beat of the music. I let out slow breath, so here was my replacement.

I hated him, because he was everything she needed, everything she deserved, and everything I couldn't be.

"You know, you'll be leaving off towards college. I miss you, I want it to be like it use to Maisy. You and I, we can make it work." He said holding her tightly.

She seemed slightly off balance by the statement, "oh."

I felt like the music was gradually picking up. He seemed to sense her uneasiness, I could, anyone really, "You don't want to try again." He stated.

"I...I just don't know if this soon is okay... I just, don't think now is a good time for me."

A smile had formed onto my face, she still loved me, she must still care for me.

He offered her a smile, "I get it."

"Thank you, you know I love you. It's just been rough for me these past months." She admitted.

"I'll see you Maisy." He said placing a kiss, but this one was placed on her lips.

I felt sick watching the two of them, again I pushed back the thought of beating him into a pulp. He pulled back brushing his thumb over her chin.

His lips parted, "We love the things we love for what they are... Robert Frost. I love you for everything that you are and I always have Maisy."

So that's what he offered her... pretty quotes, safety, happiness, and simplicity. She loved him but she still loved me. I wanted her to move on but I couldn't stand watching it happen.

He left her there and the record had faded out, all was left with the white noise. I suddenly wished more than anything I had never hurt her. All the grief I had caused, and yet at the same time she had had never felt more alive, the spontaneous rush of the unknown engulfed her when she with me.

"It wasn't fair to make me fall in love with you if you were just going to leave me." She said to the ground, completely unaware I could hear her.

She walked back inside her house and I stalked off into town, towards the black car waiting for me two streets away. I looked back with a pained expression answering her even though the action was pointless , "I know it was."

There was one last thing for me to do before I left her completely.

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Emotional chapter guys I'm so sad. You guys are my everything and I never want to end this book.

QOTC
Favorite things about yourself?
My voice

Any siblings?
Yes four. One younger sister, three older half brothers.

The end is near guys :(