Monster ≫ h.s

0.8

🎵skin pieces by farewell J.R

"I fear I may hurt you, unintentionally."
h a r r y

There wasn't much progress between Maisy and I, well as much as I hoped there would be since my story. But she was a lot more responsive than I was expecting. I fully understand that she's not going to run into my arms. That was way more than wishful thinking. I should have went about this whole thing a different way but it's too late for that now.

When I get these impulses or swings, I can't be stopped. I don't change my mind. I just do. Im bipolar and suffer from manic depression. It's been a struggle trying to be calm with her but I have.

As I approached the door that contained her, my heart rate increased significantly. Slowly twisting the door knob I entered the room, I wanted an element of surprise.  I saw her on the mattress, fast asleep. I thought about leaving but I chose to stay. Rarely I ever caught her in this state, she looked so calm. Angelic.

I smiled playing with the Ruffles of her dress, I'm not o sure she like the doll dresses I fave her...but they amused me, made me remember the good old days. When she still looked up to me.

Her porcelain milky white skin was covered in small goosebumps. I frowned, unhappy with the thought that she was cold. That was unacceptable, I shook off my heavy jacket and placed it over her body. She moved around before settling herself again. 

I liked watching her, talking to her even if she didn't respond. I didn't have much to do, so whenever I would have any amount of free time I found myself with her. She was my angel, I'd do anything to protect her innocent soul from harm. She was all I ever wanted and it did hurt to see how much she resented me.

When I told her who I was..she remembered, but it didn't really change her feelings about me. She still doesn't talk very much, it's like she's locked herself up. I've been so patient and calm. I feel like it's the only way to get her to open up to me. I don't know what else to do, but I feel like I'm on the verge of snapping. I don't ever want to get angry around her. I don't want to rush her either, but I'm getting so restless.

I've been trying to keep my mood swings down, I want her to only see me in a positive light. It's been about...three weeks since her "disappearance". I give it about two-three more months before her case is cold. I'm surprised they've left it open this long.

Without any traces or clues. She vanished, and they think she might just appear. Must be her parents, so involved. I never really liked them, I felt like they pushed maisy to hard.

I decided to leave her be, I got up leaving my jacket behind. I took small quiet steps towards the door trying not to wake her.

"Wait!" a small voice spoke.

I turned on my heels. She was sitting up, looking at me with her big blue doe eyes. Her messy hair framed her face and she held my jacket in her arms.

"Y-your jacket." She said.

"It's okay keep it. You were cold, I could tell." I offered.

She looked angry.

"No, I wasn't cold, I was fine. I'm okay, I don't need your help, I don't need you to sit around watching and protecting me. Just stop okay! You've helped me enough, I don't owe you my love. Just because you helped me from some kids doesn't mean I have to be in this situation. Just stop doing things for me! If I needed the jacket I would have asked!" She yelled.

Her chest rose and fell quickly. I stood back, shocked from her sudden outburst. I pursued my lips and stuck my hands in my pockets. I felt nothing but it hurt me more on the inside than it ever could physically. I didn't know how to respond at first, then I took a deep breath. This was no time for me to lose my temper.