Burning in Revenge

Worse than Death

Aishwarya's POV 

I woke up around 9:30am. Mom is going to fry me for that...'How can you sleep like that? Your in laws are going to blame my upbringing... blah blah...'

I'm used to these kind of words from childhood. Mom is very sweet but typical Indian mother. She never complains when Neetu/Swathi wakes up late. She never asked her to do household works, we have many live in helpers. But when it comes to me, mom insists I learn cooking and other works. I feel strange.

Quickly I got ready and came out of my room, stood near the stairs peeking if mom is there.

"What are you doing?" 

"Vicky, you startled me! I'm looking if mom is there, trying to escape from her scoldings" I said 

He laughed

"Atha(mother in law) went to Vishal's home" he said 

I sighed in relief

Everyone from my family and in laws were sitting in living room except Shanthi aunty and mom. I feel embarrassed to wake up late, it's already 10:30am.

"How are you feeling? You were very tired last night" Nikki asked 

I still feel strange and intimidated by her. I'm yet wrap the thought of my in laws family forgiving mama and talking to him pleasantly. Even Nikki is talking to mama pleasantly.

"I'm good especially mom is not here" 

My in laws family looked shocked while my family and Vicky laughed

"So you are happy when I'm not around" came my mom's voice 

I looked at Vicky in horror, he winked 'devil'

"I'm not happy but very very happy having you" I hugged mom

"She was peeking through stairs to see if you are there Atha" Vicky said 

I glared at him

"He is lying mom"

"I can see who is lying. Is this the time to wake up? You are a doctor, don't you know pregnant ladies need to eat food on time" mom scolded 

"Aishu wakes up early usually, she got tired yesterday" Vikranth uncle defended me

"Aishu, go have breakfast" uncle said

Mom smiled 

I sat with everyone after breakfast. They are chatting casually 

My family went to Hyderabad after lunch

"Thank you so much Aishu, you brought happiness into Nikki's life. I was scared seeing her condition in the past few weeks. You have big heart. You didn't just forgive her, thought of her happiness, arranged her engagement with Vishal. I owe my life to you" Tanvi aunty thanked me

"Please don't say such big words aunty, we are family now. If one person is not happy, no one will be happy. Everyone loves Nikki but no one ever brought her topic in front of me,  ever asked me to forgive her.

You asked me if i could forgive her but didn't speak a word after I told my pain.

Yesterday Vicky asked if i could permit Nikki to hold my baby. I saw pain in his eyes, he loves Nikki so much, missed her.

I realized how selfish I was...everyone is worried for her, I'm responsible but I couldn't forget my pain and forgive her.

I was confused what to do. I decided to talk to my mama. He knows the pain of guilt.

Flashback 

Aishwarya's POV 

After coming from temple, I was restless. I feel I'm responsible for everyone's sadness, they all miss Nikki so much. She cocooned herself because of guilt and that's hurting everyone.

Vicky went out with Vikranth uncle.

"I want to eat ice cream" I asked mama 

"Are you a small kid? We have engagement party evening, instead of helping you..." mom started to scold but mama stopped 

"We will be back quickly"  mama said

We both went to ice cream parlor 

"Is there anything you want to tell?" Don't hesitate Aishu, tell me whatever it is" Mama said. He knows me well 

"Mama, what I'm going to ask would hurt you..."

"It's ok Aishu, ask. You wouldn't ask something that hurts me if it's not essential"

"You thought your best friend planned along with Vikranth uncle and tried to kill... why didn't you confront them instead of revenge" I asked 

"If some enemy betray us, it won't hurt but if a person we trust so much betray, it kills heart. I couldn't take it,I lost my sensibilities... I turned cruel and committed brave sin. They forgave me now but I can never forgive myself Aishu. 

Seeing hatred in the eyes of people we love most is worst than death" he said 

"If we hate someone and it hurts the people we love most, what should we do" I asked 

"Having hatred would never give peace Aishu, it not only kills your happiness but also your family and friends. Hatred calls for vengeance. From my past experiences, I learnt to let go of past and think of present and future"

"You have been repenting for what you did for the past 23 years... you got punished by law... you asked for forgiveness all this time... how did you feel when they still hated" I asked 

"My remorse can't bring what they lost and happiness in their lives. I have no right to complain" he said 

"If someone hurts me badly, I don't have forgive them? I don't have to feel bad about it?" I asked 

"Each situation has different solution. I can't generalize and tell but if you are talking about Nikki, it's up to you" 

"How?" I asked in shock. How did he know about what happened in my life?