A Heart Full of Stars ★ Obi-Wan Kenobi

Chapter 26

When he returned 20 minutes later with a team of medics, Maoya Lenn and Lett Sha-Wyn, Keal was gone and Koral was waiting for them with a big smile on her face. They took her back to the Jedi Temple and the young woman was left alone for a few hours with the medics trying to close her wound. Obi-Wan visited her in the afternoon. When he entered, he found her writing down words in a small notebook. As soon as she realised that someone had entered her room, she hid the notebook under her covers.

-Oh, it's you," she sighed, reassured.

She took the notebook out again as Obi-Wan pulled a chair up beside her bed.

-I'm planning my escape from Sickbay," she said, looking at the pages where a few words and maps of the Jedi Temple were scribbled.

-Did you get any interesting information from Keal?

-Yes, I did. He told me that there was indeed a Separatist droid factory in the undergrounds. He delivered materials to them from a planet on the edge of the galaxy a few days ago. That's why he mentioned it in town the day I heard.

-And you're going to go investigate on your own? In a place so dangerous that even the best Jedi are reluctant to go?

-I'm not one of the best Jedi. I'm the best Jedi.

-You sound like Anakin.

Koral laughed at this remark.

-About what I told you last night... Before we left the bar. If you'd rather not talk about it, we can just pretend it never happened. I understand-

-No," she cut him off. Let's talk about it. I'm sorry I didn't give an answer yesterday, but I've had time to think about it now. You see, we didn't really choose to become Jedi. We were brought here, and we took the education that was offered to us. But we did, on more than one occasion, make the choice to stay. The choice not to leave the Jedi Order, the choice to defend the Republic and the galaxy. And now we are Jedi Masters. What we are, beings of strength and light, we owe not to ourselves but to the Order. Believe me, Obi-Wan, when I say that I understand the dilemma that has taken place in your heart. But take my advice and let go. Let go of your attachment.

Obi-Wan searched for an answer, but he could only nod and resolve to let go of his feelings. Strangely, he felt he could settle for a friendship with Koral.

-I should go and let you rest," he muttered.

-I'll stop by and see you before I head down into the underworld, investigate," she replied, smiling weakly.

Obi-Wan didn't answer and turned to the door, but he suddenly changed his mind and decided that letting Koral do whatever she wanted without any opposition was not the way to go. If he was her friend, he had to protect her. Maybe not from the people who would try to kill her because she was the most capable of defending herself, but from the bad decisions she kept making.

-I don't understand you," he said, suddenly turning around. First you refuse to go beyond the code by admitting you have feelings for me, which is perfectly understandable, but...

-Admitting?" she cut him off with an outraged look.

-Yes, admitting. You've loved me for years and you haven't always made such an effort to hide it.

-For years? Are you talking about the time you tried to kill me?

-I was slightly pissed. It happens to everyone.

-You should leave.

Koral crossed her arms and glared at him.

-You refuse to ignore the code by admitting - yes, admitting - that you have feelings for me, and I totally understand that, but when it comes to anything else, like following up on a wartime lead that falls under the authority of the Jedi Council, like searching for a droid factory in the most dangerous place on the planet, you don't give a damn about the Jedi code and the prohibitions against it. You're going to get fired, and I get the feeling that's what you want. You're desperately trying to escape your duty but you're too afraid of what you might become to take on your rebellious desires and risk going to the dark side.

-You are advising me to go to the dark side if I understand correctly?

-My advice to you is not to get fired.

-I don't need your advice or you telling me how to run my life.

-Nobody's forcing you to take my advice. But try to think for once," Obi-Wan replied as he left the room, leaving Koral alone and confused.

She watched him leave without saying a word and stared at the white door. She didn't move for a few minutes as her thoughts swirled in her head. At last, she turned her bitter gaze to the window where the azure sky was gradually being covered by heavy grey clouds. Suddenly melancholy, she watched the first drops of rain crash against the glass, while her mind wandered to old memories. She tried to refocus, to figure out what to do about her problem, to decide whether or not to go to the underbelly of Coruscant, but the only thing she could think of was that she needed Obi-Wan. She needed his arms around her, holding her and whispering in her ear that they would find a way to be together. Now she deeply regretted letting him go. She suddenly grabbed a flower pot, and threw it as hard as she could against the opposite wall before screaming at the top of her lungs, desperate for all the feelings that were forbidden to her but that she felt anyway. When she had calmed down a bit and looked around, she noticed that the whole room was turned upside down. She moved her hand towards the overturned bedside table and tried to move it with force. To Koral's surprise, the table moved easily and returned to its original position. She watched her hands as a smile played on her lips.

-Cool," she said simply, understanding that her slight outburst of rage had given her back her strength.

She put each object back in its place and hid the broken flowerpot under the bed, then left the infirmary room without bothering to be discreet. When she opened the door, she found her Padawan staring at her with a dumbfounded expression.

-What are you doing here?

-I came to visit you. Master..." he muttered worriedly. Is everything all right? I heard you screaming and...

-Everything's fine, Lett. I just went a bit crazy.

-I'm not sure if you're supposed to freak out.

-I was just having an allergic reaction to the universe.

-What the...

-Stop talking and come on. I want ice cream," she said, leaving the infirmary with a light step.

Koral was convinced that the best way to solve her problems was to simply ignore them. And that's what she was determined to do. All she had to do was not to think about Obi-Wan, not to talk to him, not to see him, not to dream about him... Nothing could be easier.

-Nothing could be easier... she sighed.

Not far away, a fewskyscrapers away, someone else had noticed Koral's outburst. It was a forcethat did not emanate from the light side of the force, but only the mostseasoned could manage to notice this kind of impulse.