3:00AM

help me

Honestly I'm so tired of everyone making me feel crazy. "Just go to bed earlier." I can't. "Just eat something." I can't. "Just focus." I can't. "Just stop worrying." I can't. "Why do you fall asleep so late?" I don't know. "Why don't you eat anything?" I don't know. "Why can't you ever pay attention?" I don't know. "Why are you stressing so much?" I don't know. Believe me when I say, I hate it. And if I could change it all, trust me, I would in a heartbeat. But I can't. And I hate how I can never sleep, I hate how I can't eat, I hate how my thoughts never shuts up, I hate how I'm always anxious. I hate how I am, who I've become. I hate it so much. And maybe everyone else can easily fall asleep and eat and focus and relax, but I can't. Stop thinking I can. Maybe these things are simple for you, but they are the absolute hardest things for me. Please, instead of telling me I need to eat and sleep, get me help. I know I need those things, but I can't do them, and you telling me to do them like it should be so simple doesn't help anything. Obviously something is wrong with me. So how about instead of making me feel insane and like a failure, you actually help me? Help me, before I lose my mind.