A Reason To Go On

Chapter 6

The car stops and I'm assuming that we are at my house, although i cant see much due to the tears that are streaming down my face. "Come on lets get you inside" i look up and realize that Casey is now stood at my side of the car waiting for me to get out. She unbuckles my seat-belt, and tugs on my arm to get me out of the car, she takes my bag to find my house keys, while i literally stand there feeling numb, she then drags me into the house and sits me down at the kitchen table 'calm down, deep breathes' my wolf tells me. I try doing as she says closing my eyes, and steadying my breathing, and finally feel myself getting my emotions under control. I open my eyes to two worried blues ones, "are you ok? what happened? did someone hurt you? did i do something wrong?" Casey continues with question after question getting herself worked up as i just stare blankly at her. "Talk to me Alex, Ive never seen you this upset", she finally sits down looking at me expectantly. 'Should i tell her whats going on?' i ask my wolf, i don't know if i could deal with seeing pity in Casey's eyes right now. 'Shes our best friend Alexia, she will understand and maybe she can help us', deciding that i need to tell someone, i explain to Casey everything that happened Monday from bumping into Jayden, finding out he was my mate, to him coming to my house, loosing my virginity, him rejecting me and finally seeing him kissing Harmony today. She doesn't interrupt when I'm speaking and when Ive finished she sits there looking shocked, the shock suddenly shifts to anger "how dare that jackass do that to you? Your his mate he's suppose to love you!" she screams. I don't say anything, what is there to say i totally agree with what shes just said, I'm about to comment when i suddenly get a slight pain in my chest, its not that uncomfortable, its a lot like the pain i had seeing Jayden kissing Harmony, maybe thinking about it is making it worse i wonder, the next pain however feels like someone is stabbing me in the chest, its so bad i literally fall from my chair. Crumpled on the floor i grip my chest trying to relieve the pain but nothing helps, I'm vaguely aware that Casey is shouting my name, but the pain is just too intense to answer her, my breathing becomes laboured and black spots float across my eyes, i know darkness is coming and i welcome it with open arms, anything to get away from the pain.

I'm not sure how long i blacked out for, but when i come too Casey is knelt beside me on the floor sobbing, i want to tell her that I'm ok, but just feel so exhausted i cant seem to get my voice to work. She finally looks at me and notices that I'm awake "Oh Alex, thank the goddess, what happened?" i try to think about what actually happened and come up with nothing, nobody was attacking me yet i felt like i was being tortured 'mate was being unfaithful' my wolf whispers. She sounds so weak, and i barely register what shes said, and then it sinks in, Jayden was having sex with someone other than me his mate. 'Is this what it is going to be like every-time?' i ask my wolf praying that the answer will be no 'yes' she whispers back. I must have zoned out talking to my wolf because Casey now has a glass of water in her hand and is trying to get me in to a sitting position with her other. "Here have a drink, and then can you please try to explain what just happened? I thought you were dying" she softly asks. Taking a large gulp of water i tell her what my wolf informed me. "So every-time he screws around your going to be in pain?" she finally asks. "Apparently so" is the only answer i can reply, I'm still in shock, i mean he rejected me so surely our bond is broken and i shouldn't have to feel this every-time? 'Only if he mates someone else can the bond be properly be broken' my wolf informs me. I snort at that, not very ladylike i know but the chances of Jayden mating with someone anytime soon, especially with his player ways, its just not going to happen! "We need to tell your parents" Casey informs me, i look at her debating what shes just said. The thought of telling my parents about the rejection terrifies me, i know my parents love me but I'm sure they are also slightly embarrassed about having me as a daughter, so hearing that i got rejected will only embarrass them further surely?. Making a decision i tell Casey "No, i don't want them to know, and i don't want you to tell anyone either, you have to keep this a secret" i stress to her, she looks unsure but eventually agrees.

Casey leaves after my parents return from work, I'm still feeling embarrassed that my mate could find me so repulsive hes sleeping around two day after rejecting me. I wonder if he knows the effect it has on me, although if he did would he care? I mean he takes my virginity and then informs me hes too young to settle down, who does that? Why not tell me before with my virginity still in-tacked so at least i can find someone special for my first time, someone who will love me "ALEXIA", my head snaps up so fast I'm surprised i didn't get whiplash, i look at my mum and shes stood with her hands on her hips, it looks like shes mad at me, but what did i do? She must have seen the confusion on my face as she proceeds to say "Ive been calling you for the last 10 minutes, with no response, are you ignoring me on purpose?" "I'm sorry mum, i must have been day dreaming, what did you want?" she tuts at me and then informs me to come downstairs for tea, which apparently may now be cold as shes been shouting a while. I felt like telling her that i have a lot on my mind and how my mate rejected me, but stopped myself and simply headed downstairs for tea.

I walked into the kitchen to the smell of enchiladas my favorite, i sit at my place at the table and dig in "how was school today Alexia?" my dad asks. I try to respond that it was fine but it comes out muffled with my mouth full of enchiladas. "Alexia please don't talk with your mouthful" my mother scolds playfully. "How are you feeling today, I'm sorry i didn't see you this morning but i called you mother at lunch and she said you went to school today", i nod my head and wait until i swallow before answering "I'm feeling much better thank you dad, how was your day?" My father then proceed to tell me about his day i nod in all the right places but to be honest I'm not really listening. Markus wants to be the lawyer not me, i find is really boring, I'm not sure what i want to do at college, but i know it wont be stuck in a stuffy office all day. Finishing my food, i head back upstairs to do my homework. I'm halfway through my English literature essay, in which i have to explain the character dynamic's, and how you know their in love, big surprise its on a romance novel, normally i would relish in this type of assignment, but i cant seem to muster up the enthusiasm, my mind drifts back to Monday night staring into those amazing green eyes, Jayden making love to me, his hands softly caressing my body, his lips slowly making a path from my ear lobe to my neck, the scene disappears and i see Jayden dressed, 'i Jayden Roaul, reject you Alexia Reymond'. I jerk up realizing that i must have fallen asleep at my desk, i look at my clock and its now 11pm, knowing the paper is not due in until next week i decide to just climb into bed and do it tomorrow. Just as i finish putting on my PJ's  i feel a gurgling in my stomach, rushing to the bathroom i throw up the remains of dinner, obviously the stress on my body is making me anxious. After brushing my teeth i climb into bed, and into a dreamless slumber.