A Reason To Go On

Chapter 15

Cindy's POV

Its been 13 days since the night i discovered Alexia collapsed and covered in blood in her room, but shes still not woke up from the coma. I spend hours talking to her about random things hoping that maybe this might help her wake up. The only topic that Ive insisted no one discusses in front of her is the baby, i know your probably thinking its silly, especially if she cant hear us, but i know how shocked we were when we found out about the baby. If its true that she really didn't know she was pregnant then i don't want to add any more stress on her at the moment. Alexia is rarely left on her own, but i must admit the lack of sleep, and all the stress and anxiety is killing me. I literally feel dead on my feet, i only sleep when my body literally gives out on me when I'm sitting down. I know i need to start looking after myself more, its funny because i insist that Colin, Markus and Leigh go get some sleep on a regular basis, yet i don't seem to be able to take my own advice! Its not like Colin doesn't try to get me to sleep more, but he also knows how stubborn i am, and excepts that i will sleep more when she wakes up. I promise i will start looking after myself more, but i need to know shes going to be ok first.

The baby has improved in the last few days, he currently weighs 3lb 1oz, hes still very small but Dr Stacy said if he continues to gain weight the way he is, then we will be able to take him home soon. Normally babies would have to stay in hospital until near their original due date, but as hes exceeding the goals set by the doctor it maybe sooner. Colin and Markus have sorted out the spare room at home ready to do his nursery, we were thinking about decorating it and getting it ready for him, but i keep putting it off. I feel like its not my place to take over, it should be Alexia choosing the things she wants in there for him not us. Ive discussed with Colin that if we get to the point when the baby may leave hospital before his mummy, then we will have to go a head and get things ready. I'm just hoping Alexia wakes up before it comes to that. He had his breathing tube taken out five days ago, i was really upset as i wasn't there, it was Jayden's time for his visit when the doctor removed it, so he got to experience my grandsons first mile stone, taking his first proper breath. Now the babies tube is out we can make out his features better, with his black hair and green eyes he looks just like Jayden! I also get to hold him now which is amazing, snuggling my grandson close to me for the first time all i could do was cry for the fact that Alexia wasn't there to hold him too. I call him my little man as know one wants to name him, we all agree it should be Alexia's decision, but obviously we cant wait forever, i just don't want to have to help decide something as important as my grandsons name without Alexia. Can you imagine how guilty i would feel if we had to choose a name and Alexia woke up and hated it?

Ive tried to avoid Jayden at all costs, I'm still so angry at what he did to Alexia and because of his actions my grandson also suffered. Last week Marcus caught him in Alexia's room, I'm not sure what he was doing in there, we have already agreed with Derek that hes to stay away from my daughter until she can decide if she wants to see him. I know Jayden and Markus came to blows after that incident, from what ive heard Markus gave Jayden quite the beating, and Jayden just stood there and took it without trying to defend himself. I'm not sure why Jayden didn't fight back? As the next in line for Alpha, he could have easily retrained Markus or even beaten him really bad, but he just took the beating instead. Maybe hes feeling guilty? Or thinks that his actions will help heal the rift between him and the rest of my family? To be honest i really don't know whats going on his head, i just know that i have no intentions of forgiving him anytime soon. There's not a lot i can do about Jayden seeing the baby, with Alexia still in a coma Jayden is technically the babies next of kin. I just don't feel he has the right to a relationship with him, i know hes the babies dad but i just cant forgive the fact that he almost cost my daughter and grandson their lives with his selfishness.

"Casey's just left, but said she will be back later tonight to see you. Your dad is finally getting some much needed sleeps, so it looks like your stuck with me for a while". I inform Alexia, i continue telling her bits about what people have done today, while continually rubbing her hand. Eventually i run out of things so say so just rest my head on her hand for a few minutes.

I must have fallen asleep as i can feel someone tapping my head, i look around the room to see who's come in and notice I'm still on my own with Alexia, i feel twitching on my hand and look down, noticing its Alexia's hand that's moving. Maybe I'm still dreaming, i shake my head to clear it and when i look back down i notice her hand is still. Disappointment fills me, its not the first time Ive had these dreams, but every time i cant seem to stop getting my hopes up only for them to be shot down again. I sit at the edge of her bed and run my fingers through her hair in a soothing motion, like i used to do when she was a small child.  

I go to sit back down when i notice something is different about Alexia, I'm so shocked at first it doesn't register in my brain what the difference is. When it does i cant express the feelings running through me. Seeing her beautiful grey/blue eyes for the first time in nearly two weeks is overwhelming. Alexia is finally awake.