A Reason To Go On

Chapter 8

Waking up New Years Eve, i have a feeling a dread in my stomach, Christmas break so far has actually been amazing, my brother come home Christmas Eve and brought his new mate with him. None of us knew that he found her as he wanted it to be a surprise. Leigh his mate is really funny, she also smart and studying to become a vet at university. Markus and Leigh met when she decided to get a job at the University coffee shop, Markus went in and as soon as they laid eyes on each other the connection was instant. I thought it was amazing that they've both attended the same university for two years but had never met before then. Markus said it was because they didn't have any classes together, and the university is massive. I cant help feeling envious of my big brother, you can see the love in their eyes every time they look at each other, and that's what i wanted. Why couldn't Jayden love me like Markus loves Leigh? Thinking of my Jayden problem, I'm assuming that the Alpha has been insisting on spending some quality time with his family over Christmas as Jayden has been keeping it in his pants, so overall my life finally feels a little more normal. Casey is coming over soon so she can help me get ready for the party, because Ive been able to relax more over the past few days, Ive managed to eat decent meals, and now my face doesn't look as gaunt, my body is still more skinny then it should be but overall I'm happy with the couple of pounds Ive managed to gain. I guess it didn't hurt that mum, Leigh, Casey and i had a couple of baking days, and our house looked like a bakery, everything looked so go, I'm sure we all gained weight.

"Knock knock" Casey says entering my bedroom, i must have zoned out as i didn't hear her arrive "Your mum is making pancakes, so i thought we could have breakfast and then maybe have a movie day until we have to get ready for the party" this is yet another reason why i love my best friend, she knows Ive been panicking about the party tonight, so shes trying to keep me as relaxed as possible. "Come on then lets go downstairs and eat". Making our way to the kitchen, Leigh is sat at the table while mum is just dishing up the pancakes "wheres dad and Markus?" i ask. My mum turns around to look at me, rolling her eyes she replies "dad took Markus to the office to show his some stuff, for when he starts working with him". This is so typical of them, my brother is literally a mini dad, he has the same brown hair, and blue eyes, hes slightly taller than my dad standing at 6"4, but other than the slight height difference, im sure they could be clones. "I cant believe they are talking business on New Years Eve" i state while shoveling some more pancakes in my mouth. "You know what your father and brother are like Alexia, anyway what are you girls up to today?" "Casey and i are going to have a movie day before we have to get ready for the party, since dad and Marcus aren't here, you and Leigh are welcome to join us". Leigh perks up and her name being mentioned "I'd love to, it will be nice spending some time with my new little sister" she states smiling at me. "Well that's settled you girls get comfortable in the lounge, and pick a DVD and ill make some popcorn" my mum says. And that's what we all do, all four of us are sprawled on the sofa and chairs, now watching our second movie Avengers, Casey, Leigh and i are currently discussing which is the hottest character. I'm torn between Chris Evan (Captain America) or Chris Hemsworth (Thor), Casey believes that Chris Hemsworth is the sexiest man alive, and apparently Leigh thinks Robert Downey Jr is good looking, but she does venomously state 'no one can ever compare to Markus though'. "I think the guy that plays Hulk is quite cute", we all look at my mum, normally she wouldn't get involved in Casey and i's ogling contests, we literally burst out laughing at her, "What? just because I'm married doesn't mean i don't have eyes" she says a little offended, this just makes us laugh harder. Just as the movie finishes dad and Markus arrive home, i look up and notice that its now dark outside, checking the time i realize that its nearly 6pm, mum must have noticed the time too "come on girls time to get ready for the party, we will be leaving a 7.30pm". Casey and i head to my room, while everyone else heads to their own rooms. I take a quick shower and get dressed while into my party dress while Casey is in the shower, I'm now sat on my bed waiting for her to come out of the bathroom, to show me her dress. "Wow you look beautiful Casey" i say as she comes strolling into my room. Shes wearing a simple pink dress, with a belt at the waist that highlights her curves, the dress reaches just above her knees but it doesn't look slutty is looks classy. "You look good yourself" she replies, im wearing a black maxi dress, although Ive lost weight Ive managed to keep my c cup breasts, the dress hugs my boobs and then flares out, its so long its practically touching the floor, i wear a loose cardigan to cover up my arms, and actually feel happy with my outfit choice. Leigh enters my room stating that shes come to do our hair and makeup, she looks really pretty. Leigh reminds me of a prettier version of Miss Honey from Matilda, with her brown should length hair, brown eyes, and kind nature. Shes wearing a black skater dress, with killer heels, her hair is straightened but her makeup is amazing shes gone for a brown smokey eye effect. She curls Casey's blonde hair, making waves of curls down her back, her makeup accentuates her blue eyes, she looks like a totally different person. "Now your turn Alexia", she asks me to close my eyes like she did with Casey, so i don't spoil the surprise on the reveal. I'm feeling really nervous, i cant feel my hair on my face, so i know shes doing something to it, after what feels like forever but is probably about 15 minutes, she leads me to the mirror and asks me to open my eyes. I resist at first not sure how awful I'm going to look, but after someone gives me a little nudge i open them. The girl standing in the mirror looks nothing like me, she has her dark hair up in a messy bun type style, although it still looks classy, her cheekbones seem to stand out accentuating her face, and her lips look full with the red lipstick. The makeup around her eyes helps bring out the blue color around the grey, this cant be me, I'm not beautiful i think to myself, i feel my eyes watering "Don't cry Alexia, you look beautiful, i don't know why you hide behind so much hair when you have such an amazing face, and your eyes are the most unusual and beautiful Ive ever seen" Leigh states in a matter of fact way, shes also looking at me as if to say 'i dare you to disagree with me'. "I i it lo looks nice" i manage to stutter out, god why am i so pathetic when i have nothing to hide behind? "It ok Alex, ill be with you the whole night, i wont leave you on your own, you look amazing, now lets go" Casey says. I simply nod my head at her and let her lead me out of the room, coming down the stairs both my parents and brother are waiting for us. "Hunny you look so beautiful" my mum compliments, "my little girls all grown up" dad says, i blush at the compliments, "yeah little sis you look really pretty, but did you have to do such a good job Leigh? Now not only will i have to make sure no wolves look at you, but ill have to babysit my little sister too. No way am i letting any boys near her tonight!" We all laugh at this, Ive never heard my brother being so protective of me.

Walking up the steps to the pack house my dad quickly stops Casey and i "stay close to each other tonight, i know what unmated wolves can be like, and with you two stunners, im sure you will be temping them. Stay together and if you have any problems, just find one of us" we both flush at the comliment but nod our heads, Casey places her arm inside of mine and we step inside the house.

We've been at the party over two hours now, Casey's not left my side once which I'm grateful for, we've had a few guys come up to us trying to talk but we generally brush them off. Its actually quite amusing to be honest, most of the guys have no idea who we are despite attending school with us for years. One of the jocks from our school Jackson actually approached me with some line about me being an angel and he'd died and gone to heaven. It was so cheesy, and when i wouldn't dance with him he looked shocked, i don't think anyone has ever refused him before. The worse thing is Jackson is one of Jayden's best friends, and exactly like him with his player ways, so even without the cheesy line and my shyness, i would  never have agreed to dance with someone like him. Casey and i have had a couple of drinks so we are a little tipsy, we decide not to have anymore as none of us wants to be too drunk, the alcohol Ive had though seems to have given me a confidence boost, i found that after my second glass i was no longer stuttering when speaking to people, Ive not seen Jayden yet, which isn't surprising, the pack house is huge, and because the whole pack is here, it helps to avoid him. We both decide to go to outside for some fresh air, we are about to turn the corner when i hear a voice that sends shivers down my back. I pull Casey aside and being a too werewolf i know she heard him. "What do you mean this girls the sexiest girl you've ever seen? Seriously?" I hear Jayden ask. "Man you didn't see her, she has the most amazing eyes Ive ever seen!" A guy says i pretty sure its Jackson. "Ok man, whatever you say, I'm sure every girl looks good when you've had a drink" is Jaydens witty comeback. "No man you haven't seen her, see wouldn't even dance with me, i think I'm in love" yep definitely Jackson's voice, we are about to turn around and go back in the house when i hear someone shout hey, we turn around to see who's shouting and i immediately see Jackson "See man i told you she was beautiful" i look over to who hes talking to and immediately get pulled into the amazing green eyes. I feel like i could stand and stare all night, I'm not sure how long we were staring, until i finally get a hold of myself and remember, this is the guy that broke my heart, he used and rejected me. That snaps me out of my trance and I quickly pull Casey back into the house, i can vaguely hear Jayden asking me to wait, but i don't i just keep pushing past the people in front of me, trying to put as much distance as possible between us. Just as we find mum and dad, the bells ring signalling the count down, my mum and dad hug me and everyone is shouting Happy New Year, i just need to get out of here, i wasn't prepared for the rush of feelings that came back just staring into Jayden's eyes. My mum finally notices that i look pale, i lie and say Ive drank too much and want to go home, she willingly agrees, and goes to find my brother and Leigh, while i stay with dad and Casey. Casey is looking at me with worried eyes, but i just need to get out of here, i cant cry in front of everyone, mum finally comes back,  and we get in the car, just as we are pulling out i see Jayden coming round the corner, his eyes show a mixture of emotions, but the only ones i can make out is sadness and anger. Why would he be sad? he rejected me, and as for his anger, shouldn't i be the one feeling angry? God hes so selfish! The car turns the corner breaking the connection, i knew the party was a bad idea i think to myself, i close my eyes feeling the tear that was about to fall run down my face.