DEVOTION | L. FORGER

CHAPTER 5

"Ha-Hatake" you practically screamed as he pounded into you from the back. One hand gripped my waist tightly while the other grasped my jaw tightly. He was being so rough as he locked both my arms behind my back with one hand and pulled my hair with the other.

"Take it" he ordered me and I obliged.

After the 'perfect date' with Loid. I ended up in Hatake's bed. Again. He helped me deviate my mind from him, although the same thought kept coming back to me again and again. I was left helpless.

"They'll know who you belong to after I am done with you" I was too lost to even pay attention to what he said.

"You belong to me right" I mumbled something to answer him, hardly able to get words out.

The hand on my jaw was now around my throat as he squeezed it "Answer me" he demanded.

"Y-yes Hatake, I belong to you, only you"

My mouth parts open, my eyes roll back, my fingers are tightly entangled with his sheets, and my toes curl as I reach my high. He grunts gripping my wrists tighter and tighter as he stills in me taking his sweet time to milk me to the brim. After a minute or so, he pulls out and rolls over as I lie back down on my back. He stares at me. Probably realizing the mess we were in, at the moment.

He brings his fingers to my face as he removes the few strands of hair decorating my face. I look deep into his eyes. Nothing. I feel nothing. If anything worse than I already did.

He stands up searching for his briefs around the room scattered with our clothes. He goes up to the veranda of his huge house, lighting a cigarette, and blowing the smoke into the open air. I stare at his back, it never fails to amaze me how godly he is. I stand up and go to join him on the balcony dragging nothing but a thin white sheet covering me. I rub my hand slowly down his back relaxing his tense muscles.

He looks at me softly before sighing and leaning his head against my chest.

"You are too good for me y/n. I am sorry for dragging you down with me. You deserve so much better, I want to let you go gently but I can't. I don't know why, I just can't. I care about you too much but I'm selfish because I want to keep you next to me, provide for you, love you, care for you, protect you" he almost whispers looking at me.

I just stare at him. I understand. I am the only one who understands him. He is lonely. Too lonely. After his mother passed away, his dad was too hard on him, he never wanted this life, yet it was a curse, an infinite looping, that no matter how many times we were at each other's throats we still come back to each other. We found comfort in this toxicity, something we both were always familiar with. No matter how many times we fall, we stand.

"I love you" he gently whispers.

It was a sad reality we lived in. That no matter how many obstacles we face, our love will always be forbidden. The reason why Hatake and I go a long way back. Only if his intentions were pure and true, only if his dad never used him as a spawn for his wealth, and only if he hadn't gotten close to me for my company, maybe we could've been happier.

"Hatake, we can never go back to how it was. This isn't possible, not now not ever"

He drags us to his bed, all messy from our previous activities. He sits down pulling me into his embrace. I rub my finger gently across his eyebrow as his face relaxes.

He grabs my wrist rubbing over the faint marks when he tightly grasped them.

"I am sorry, I know it hurts"