DEVOTION | L. FORGER

CHAPTER 19

I look outside the window, seeing children playing around, the skies turning a hundred different shades, trees moving, clouds moving, all along as me and Loid move in the car.

It's been silent between us ever since we left from my father's place. He left me curious and worried, I know Loid wasn't exactly open, which led me to believe he wasn't exactly very honest either. 

I turn to look over to Loid when I hear him sigh loudly. He places his hand on my thigh rubbing the area of skin smoothly with his thumb. He looks over at me and continues, "I know you are worried Y/n, I promise to tell you everything when we get home"

I place my hand on his hand and gently squeeze it to give him assurance. 

-

After we reach Loid's house, I take my shoes and coat off, walking myself to his kitchen fridge and taking out a bottle of wine. I look up at him and shake the glass indicating whether he wanted some or not. He shakes his head and walks into his living room getting comfortable on the couch. 

I grab the entire bottle and sit next to him on his couch, although leaving a bit of space between us. "Go ahead, whenever you're ready" I tell him as I open the bottle. 

"I hoped to keep this a secret from you, not because I wanted to but because I didn't want to worry you" I look at him as a sign to continue, he rubs his large over his face and sighs loudly before speaking again, "You remember Franky right?"

"Your friend yes why?"

"He...he's dead"

I take minutes to process his words. He's dead? 

He is no more. When did this happen? Who did this? Was it an accident? How did he die? Why did he die? He deserved a happy life. Although I wasn't close to him, he still existed as Loid's friend. I stare at Loid in utter shock, my eyes are wide, probably even my mouth agape.

"Loid?"

"Yes, Y/n?"

"Are you okay?"

He looks over at me, his eyes soft as I ask him that. He looks down at his hands that were resting on his lap. 

"This is the truth I was hiding"

He ignores my question, my eyes furrow, and I am hurt and disappointed. "Why didn't you tell me?! Did I not deserve to know? He was your friend Loid, and the fact that I had to hear this from Hatake?" I spit.

"I was trying not to worry you for this reason Y/n"

"I know he was your best friend Loid, and I know you don't tell me everything but I really wish for you to open up, not for me, but you. I don't want you taking everything on yourself and you to suffer alone, I want to be there for you so you aren't the only one suffering"

"Stop it Y/n!" he snaps at me, "I am not obligated to tell you anything, stop thinking you mean so much to me that I am willing to tell you everything and anything" he continues.

"I know it's hard losing someone Loid, but keeping it to yourself and bottling it up will only hurt you in the end along with the people who care for you. I just want to be there for you, because I don't like seeing you suffering like this" I say softly ignoring his harsh words.

I lay my head on the head seat of his couch feeling sleepy and sleepy as the seconds go by. My eyes feel heavy. I blink a couple of times as everything around me slows down. Loid looks at me still with furrowed eyes when I hear him speak the words 'sorry'. After that, the entire world fades into darkness.