Run from me darling

Six

Brutal-Olivia Rodrigo

I'm anxious and nothing can help
And I wish I'd done this before
And I wish people liked me more

NINA

I should've never agreed to replace cash for clothes. I sucked at poker. I was in the rush of the moment. The man bloody scared me tonight. I didn't think he'd go that far. A part of me was jealous that he was kissing that girl.

I did that because I was jealous.

I caused that big of a scene because I was jealous and I can't even explain why I'm jealous. I don't want to be with him like that.

Do I?

I don't know why he makes my blood boil. We are complete opposites. He was a murder. He was a mad man, completely insane and yet I am attracted to him. How can someone that has such a pretty face be so vile?

I'm attracted to him but I don't want to be with him. If I keep repeating that to myself it might come true. I don't want to be with him. I don't want to be with him.

Or do I?

I noticed Marcus as soon as he approached us but he didn't carry sex with him. Castiel screamed sex. I'm confused about my own thoughts and feelings. I hadn't once thought of Christian while on that dance floor. I feel bad that I didn't.

I should've at least thought about my boyfriend once and I didn't.

We were friends for years before we started dating. I grieve the person that he was and the person that he'll never be again. The way he treats me I know is wrong but Castiel isn't any better. How would he treat me if he actually got what he wanted?

He pulled out and fired his gun tonight to prove a point. It wasn't about me. I came with him and was with another guy, he had to show his supremacy. It was his reputation he was defending, not me.

"Time for that dress to go darling." I had managed to get his shirt off. That was all before I'll end up in my panties. He had 'REVENGE' tattooed over his heart. On the other side were multiple birth years. He had a shoulder piece as well but I can't make out what it is with the position that he was sitting in.

He was buff and built. He had a thin coating on fine hair covering his chest. It was unbelievably sexy. I'm fighting so hard with what I was taught vs what I want. I was not raised to be with a man like Cas. I need to stop thinking about what it looked like for us.. There is no us after tonight.

I'll go back to my life and our paths will never cross again. He will forget about me with the next woman that catches his eyes and I'll continue to be happy at the sake of others. That is what I'm good at. I'm more verbal than I thought though. I never stand up for myself around Christian or cuss at him.

I do with Cas.

I feel so different.

I feel like a new person.

I feel so alive and I love it.

I can't stand that I love it.

Why do I love it?

I stand up from my chair as he leans back in his and his head adjusted to my new position. I wanted to feel his hands on me. I wanted to experience something new before leaving. I just needed to feel alive once more until everything disappeared.

"Take it off for me." I bravely spoke. I didn't have a fear of rejection around him. He made it clear that he wanted me in more ways than one.

"I would like nothing more." My nipples immediately react and my pulse starts racings. He stands and hovers over me while pulling me close to his chest by my wrist.