Run from me darling

Twenty-Two

Love In The Dark-Adele

You have given me something that I can't live without
You mustn't underestimate that when you are in doubt
But I don't want to carry on like everything is fine
The longer we ignore it, all the more that we will fight

CASTIEL

4 days. It has only been 4 days but it feels like eternity. We haven't had contact but I need to get back into the groove of work or I'll just poison myself with the thoughts of her.

I have a meeting with Seth Greco today. He is a professional with his work and we've never butted heads over anything. I know things will go smoothly for us. He is a great person and I'm thankful he has such a civil head on his shoulders.

I've heard through the grapevine that shit was going bad for him. He thinks someone is out to get him and what is the odd that someone is out to get Marcus and me as well. It has to be the same person, right?

Marcus hasn't had any weird shit happening to him lately and neither have I. We are catching a break but Seth isn't.

I don't know if I have a plan to go after Marcus anymore. I thought about ways we could work together. I don't know if anybody on my side will be for that and I can't lose the few people I have so I have to discuss it with Johnny and Ricardo first then go from there.

Things are unclear with Nina but maybe Johnny was right. The person only wants to get to her to get to me. I take things too far when it comes to her. I wasn't thinking when I said those things to her that day. I do trust her and I was an asshole to her in front of everyone.

I know she has nothing to do with any of this. This is my karma. This is my family karma. I'm just the only one left to deal with it.

Seth was a very charming man. He was 28, older than me by 2 years. I met him once when I was 10. He wasn't attractive until his 20's. He's been through more than most of us.

His father was obviously powerful but also abusive. His mother died when he was 5 and his older brother died in a car accident when he was 14. His father ended up killing himself and Seth has upheld his role for more than 7 years now.

He is good at this job. Way better than his father ever was. He was married with two children. He absolutely adores his wife. I've never heard him say a bad thing about her.

You can have both this job and love. It takes a lot of understanding on both parties though.

His wife is gorgeous but not my type. I can actually say I have a type now and my type doesn't want to be around me right now.

I miss her and I haven't slept or ate in 4 days but I cannot pity myself.

Seth sits down in front of me. It has been years since I've seen him. He has more tattoos, a beard, and long hair that was gelled back. He was unrecognizable. Things have taken a toll on him now. It usually happens after the first 5 years.