Helluva Distraction

Chapter 6

"Well," Blitz started, adjusting his tie, "Moxx, Mills, and I are in the killing division. Loona is our secretary and in charge of keeping files but...uh-" he cleared his throat and whispered "she's not the greatest at keeping documentation the way a real business should..."

"You want me to keep files?" you asked, tapping your pointer finger onto your chin.

"If that's something you're interested in we could definitely use it. Or you could come with us and fulfill our contracts, if you'd rather" he winked, a twisted smile planted on his face.

"Files sound wonderful. Tell me what to file and how and you've got yourself a new employee" you smirked, reaching your hand towards Blitz's and waiting for a handshake. He stared down at your hand for a moment, his tongue sticking out of his mouth before he grabbed it tightly and shook obnoxiously.

He stood, grasping a megaphone from beneath his desk, and opened his office door wide enough for you to see Moxxie, Millie, and Loona all sitting in the main area of the office. You plugged your ears and prepared for the worst as Blitz placed the megaphone to his lips and pulled down the trigger.

"Listen here you fuckers! We have a new employee, Y/N will be keeping files for us from now on. Loona, you've been released from that duty!" his voice scratched at the walls.

"Sweet" Loona said, her eyes locked on her phone as she texted away.

"Welcome to the I.M.P family, Y/N!" Millie clapped excitedly before running over to you and squeezing you tightly, pulling you out of Blitz's office and into the common area.

"It's about time we have someone actually file things properly, our hellhound can't seem to handle that" Moxxie commented, giving Loona a passive aggressive stare. She flipped him off and continued her conversation on her phone.

"You'll do so great, Y/N. Alright, filing cabinets are over here. This one on the left is for new clients. I want you to keep a file on said client, what they want, etc. I need to know who they want dead, why they want them dead, when they want them dead, and how they want them dead. After we finish the mission you can update their file about how the mission went, who died, etc. and place it in this filing cabinet on the right. Right filing cabinet is for missions already completed, the left is for missions in progress" Blitz explained, you nodded before opening the filing cabinets to find them both empty.

"That's easy enough...so...uh...Loona, where's the old files?"

"I may have uh...ate them at some point."

"That's just great! Why in the hell would you eat the files? What in the seven rings would compel you to do something like that?!" Moxxie criticized.

"Listen, I'm not going to explain myself to a shrimp dick. I ate them and that's that. Now we have Y/N to keep track of files so you can get the fuck off my back."

"Ha!" Blitzo shouted, "shrimp dick!" he continued to cackle before shutting the filing cabinets in front of you.

"Well, Loona, do you have the current clients written down somewhere? I'll start making files for those right away" you offer, Loona tossed a planner in your direction.

"Have at it."

You walked toward a dusty desk near the filing cabinets that a computer resting on. You took a seat and started going through the planner. Loona was right, there were four client requests due today. You quickly powered the computer up and started to type information down about each client, who their hit was placed on, why, etc. Blitz nodded and walked back into his office, keeping his door cracked open just enough for you to be able to see him. Millie and Moxxie began some rather haphazard target practice in the common area and Loona assisted by holding the target in the air.

Within a few minutes you got into the hang of your position pretty easily, your mind escaped you and it became habitual as your fingers danced over the keys and jotted down all of the important information that you could think of. The planner had no previous appointments from before today, they had all been torn out, so you couldn't file any previous business contracts but at least you could start properly filing things from here on out.

You could feel Blitz's eyes staring at you every couple of minutes from his office. You were overly tempted to give him a gaze but instead you controlled yourself and continued typing, printing, and filing away. Time began to pass smoothly and you took one last look at the agenda, seeing that their first mission was to start at 1pm. You took a look at the clock and it read 12:55 pm. You cleared your throat, pushed yourself up from your desk, and made your way towards Blitz's office.

You gently tapped on the cracked door three times before your small push made it give way. Blitz's eyes immediately shot up at you and held a deep eye contact that made your face glow red and your stomach knot.

"Excuse me, sir...your first appointment starts in five minutes" you nicely reminded him. He gazed at his own clock and gave you a gentle nod.

"Are you sure you're not interested in coming?" he offered.

"I am more than sure, sir. But thank you" you smiled as you pivoted back toward your newly claimed desk.

Blitz's distinct footsteps followed behind you, stopping at the entryway of his office. He stretched, cracking his back and fingers before proudly announcing that they were about to leave. Millie and Moxxie loaded up a plethora of weapons and joined Blitz in the common area. You watched in awe as Blitz handed the large book to Loona who flipped through a couple familiar pages before reading out a jumble of words.

A portal leaked from the wall revealing a flood of sunlight that gazed through. Blitz twirled his percussion pistol before clicking it into its holster. Moxxie attached a multitude of explosions to his waist belt. Millie flung an extremely large ax over her shoulder and allowed it to rest there naturally. You imagined what it would be like to see these devils coming to you when you were alive, it would scare the absolute shit out of you, but you couldn't lie, you were equally impressed by their appearance and professionality.

"Come back safely" you called, standing from your desk and walking over toward the center of the room.

"Of course, silly, that's what we do" Millie smiled before tugging Moxxie through the portal.

"We'll be back soon" Blitz gave you a gentle smile, you felt his tail wrap around yours tightly and stay there for a moment before he began to make his way through the wall, the portal vacuuming shut behind him.