Baby

twenty

I was overwhelmed.

My feelings were in turbulence. It had been two months since we had started the trail. Nothing and everything was the same.

My man, he still remembered which was my favourite mug. He still remembered how I liked my eggs. He knew I preferred the books to the left, and the T.V remote to the right.

It was like nothing had changed.

"I've got a meeting with Giovanni in no man's. Call Abel if I'm not back by noon okay."

Because nothing had changed.

"Abel is still alive?"

"Yeah. Since the boss passed, everyone has moved up in the ranks. Abel is still loyal though, the power hasn't gotten to his head yet."

"And you?"

"And me?"

"Have you moved up? Are you no longer shifting for them?"

A dry laugh left his lips, it would've been chilling if I didn't know this man intimately enough to know it was pained.

"I'm head of 'operations and transport'."

"That's just a fancy way of saying you run this shit show now."

"You could look at it that way."

I sighed.

"I'm going job hunting, and I'm taking the dog. This house needs a legal income."

"Suit yourself. You won't need it but suit yourself."

He took his coat off the hook, and walked out the door. Jupiter stood at my side and watched his daddy walk away, his fluffy tail wagging. If only I could be so happy with goodbyes.

It's just like it was before.

The anxiety of not knowing whether he was going to come home tonight sucker-punched me.

I felt just like I did before I left.

Frustrated and sad.

I don't know if he ever did realize how much I cared for him. Regardless, I was determined that I wouldn't be weak this time around. If he wanted to keep me, he was going to have to prove it.

Locking the leash around Jupiter, I walked out the door. I needed to find something to do.