Growing up I've never felt like home at anyplace but in my room, locked in my world, thinking what it would be like if I wasn't like this, if I didn't have so much defect or insecurity.
Maybe then I would have friends like my sisters, maybe just maybe I could be that person that someone actually enjoys talking to for more than a minute, that person who is able to feel joy and laugh whit no care, not thinking what people would think of me, or how they would react seeing me I wish was that person.
I honestly wish I wasn't that child to get burn , I wish I wasn't that shy child that everyone just thinks it's ok to say anything not caring on how I feel, I wish I was that brave person who could stand up and say how I feel without stuttering .
I just simply wish I had someone to talk to, someone I know I could trust someone that wouldn't feel pity for me, someone who wouldn't judge me.
In school theirs always that one person who never talks much, who is the last one to be chosen who is an outcast, well that person is me, at least that's how I've felt... I hated being the Last one to be picked, cause I know they didn't want me in the group, and the feeling is horrible, being in a group where nobody wanted me there, but the teacher told them they didn't had a choice which made everything worse, that's one of the reasons why I hated going to school.
Going to school was never easy for me, I cry pretty much everyday just thinking of going to school, and me being a Christian made it much worse, no one wanted me around but my cousin, and my close family who didn't really had a choice I guess. It was so bad and it hurts so much.
And sometimes I felt used by my cousin,
I was so annoyed that I had to do all her school works because she didn't know how to, I try my best to help her, her family had money so she would sometimes buy stuff for me, they were days, when i wouldn't want to help her to do her school works, she would get annoyed and tell it to her mom and her mom would tell it to my uncle and he would rub it in my face that I was being ungrateful because so many times his daughter bought stuff for me. If I had a choice I would never take anything from her but I was hungry and embarrassed that all the kids had money to buy in school and I didn't. And it hurts so much, being that kid that no one wanted around, not having money to go to school, So I took the food she offered, I would even beg her sometimes because my parents didn't have enough to give me and all of my sister. I was just that little kid looking for love out there, just a sparkle of hope , but I got knocked down over and over again in the dirt whit no one to help me, so I had to pick up myself whit bruise heart.
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Hey guys really hope you enjoy reading my story and please comment and tell me what you think
Love Anai
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His broken princess
Historia CortaI understand the thoughts of suicide that do reside but when I sit and think about my family I feel new inside, I promise I would cause a thousand deaths before I cause them any pain but somehow I end up killing everything. I cry for you I would die...
