I wish I had the power to be accepted wherever I go, I wish I was that girl that everyone wanted around. That outgoing loud girl, who was just so good at making new friends.
But am not, am that awkward girl who's always in the background the one that doesn't talk, the shy one. I don't want to be that girl but I am, i don't remember choosing this person that i am, I would never choose this person.
Maybe that's why I don't have any friends, cause am me, and it hurts so much, I want to have that person around me that i trust to talk too and let them know how I feel and what I've been going through.
It's crazy having a lot of people around you and yet you feel so lonely,
my younger sister would always have friends coming to the house looking for her, and she would brag about it a lot, she would even rub it in my face saying how sad it is that I don't have friends and she's better than me.
And it would hurt so much cause I know she's right, at some point of my life not being the one to be chosen stop to hurt, it didn't make sense Crying over something that would happen over and over again.
I've always love kids, being around them I didn't feel judged in anyway, I feel so free and so happy being around them.
Am also a dog lover I really love dogs, even though I've been bitten by one when I was like eleven years old, I still have the scars on my skin something that I just can't forget cause I get the pleasure of looking at it, just like how I can't forget that I got burn, cause I see it everyday.
I remember that dog bite it was so horrible, I didn't cry once, maybe I was was so shock to even believe that it happened to me, and not my cousin who was playing whit me, I can't really remember that process but I do remember my mom saying "my poor girl and her skin she got another scar on her skin" or it was my sister who was crying for me cause I didn't cry for myself I don't remember.
Getting sores in fifth grade was the worst, felling so embarrassed of going to school and more horrible that no one wanted to play whit the kids whit sores that everyone would keep staring at them.
Almost getting drowned in the sea whit my little sister, and feeling blame is not the best feeling.
Not feelings that your worth it and asking yourself what are you doing here, your not happy, why not go to another place take all the pain away have peace, yes I've had thoughts of suicide but thinking about the pain I would have caused my mom and dad and my family I couldn't do it.
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Hey guys didn't though I was going to update today but I really want to finish this book so I can show my family.
Thinking back to those days had me crying while writing this chapter. Hope you enjoy reading it
Don't hesitate if you have any comments
Love Anai
YOU ARE READING
His broken princess
Historia CortaI understand the thoughts of suicide that do reside but when I sit and think about my family I feel new inside, I promise I would cause a thousand deaths before I cause them any pain but somehow I end up killing everything. I cry for you I would die...
