Natasha, Wanda and Yelena oneshots

TW!!!

I'm sorry, that's not a new chapter, more like my thoughts about sh scars.
So if you're uncomfortable, feel free to skip. But I'd be grateful if you decided to stay.

THERE ARE PHOTOS OF OUR LOVELY LIZZIE, SCAR AND FLO AT THE END!

So, I was walking at the street when I saw someone with scars on their legs and arms. I felt terrible, because I thought that they should cover them. I felt awful, because I know that you can't control the way your body heals.
And I sometimes feel like my scars aren't deep enough, like other people have 'real' problems and 'real' scars.
It's fucked up, because self harm at all isn't anything you should do, no matter how much.

Also, I realised that my apperance can trigger someone. And I don't mean that they'll think 'freak', but about the situation that someone can see my scars and think about hurting themselves.

I'm afraid to tell my parents. Even though they try to be supportive, I know they won't understand. They'd just say that they're not as visible. I don't know what to think about it, because some of my friends told me that they're visible and some that not much.

I'm also kinda petite and short. There was one situation when I argued with a girl from by class and she just pushed me so easily, I almost fell, but just hit the wall. I felt so fucking vulnerable. So I started exercising, to at least look more fit, but I can't see effects. I propably do it wrong but I just don't want to look like a fucking prey. It's so flustrating and adults just keep repeating that when I'll be older that my height will be something good and actractive.

I honestly hate how my brain works. Even though I should be proud whenever I think about hurting myself and don't do it, I feel guilty thay I even thought about it.

I want to be in relationship, but also I'm scared and don't really believe in love. Everyone's so excited about their first love, when my was unrequited.
And to be honest, even until now I don't know if I felt something towards her or just had unhealthy obsession that only got worse when she ignored me.

So yeah. I should tell that my therapist but I'll see her in a few weeks so 🙃

Sharing it with random people on internet is so much easier than in real life 😒

People think that stopping self harming is difficult. But keeping clean is even harder.

Some cute photos to make you and me feel better:
Sorry they're not cropped properly