D A Z A
May inis na napahilamos ako ng mukha. I absentmindly look myself through the mirror. What the hell is just happening to me?
Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ba ako nababalisa. And I can't explain the feelings causing my anxiety. Worst is, why do I get the feeling of constantly being watched even if I'm alone? No, not just when I'm alone even when I'm with my friends.
Damn. This could be some kind of psychological disorder like paranoia. I can't tell exactly since when I had this feeling pero parang nagsisimula akong makaramdam ng ganito a month ago after I ran into the woods. It's a sane same feeling. Na para bang may laging nakasunod at nakamatyag sa 'kin kahit saan man ako magpunta. And now, it's been a week mula nung pasukan.
"Hey, you okay?" I stirred from my trance when I heard Eli's voice. She laughed at my reaction but regretted it after seeing me as if I'm a lost kitten. "Daza, what's wrong?" She worriedly asked.
I was hesitant if I would tell her the reason why I have been zoning out lately. Alam kong nakakahalata na rin ang mga ito. But knowing Eliz, hindi yan mapapalagay.
Napailing ako.
Gustuhin ko mang sabihin rito ang totoo but part of me tells otherwise. Besides, ayoko na munang dagdagan ang mga alalahanin nito. Siguro kapag naging okay na sila ni Ren then maybe that's the time. But for now, sasarilinin ko muna. I might be in distress lalo na't hindi pa umuuwi si Mom. I'm just hoping na hindi niya gagawin ang ginawa ni Dad. If that will be the case, I'll become an orphan for fudge sake! I can't let that thing happen.
"I'm just... tired, Liz," I quitely answered.
I heard her sharp sigh. "Daza, c'mon! Quit beating around the bush and tell me what's going on? You've been out... lately," she says.
Nakaramdam ako ng guilt. Not now. "I'm totally fine! Don't mind me. It's just... M-Mom texted me and said she couldn't make it tonight." Partly lie. I just don't want her to overthink.
Napabuntong-hininga uli ito saka niya ako niyakap. "I'm sorry. I can't help it. Para kasing may hindi ka sinasabi sa 'kin. Nag-aalala lang ako baka mamaya makikita nalang kitang nakahilata dyan dahil may dinadaramdam ka pala... wait you sure you okay ha? Wala kang sakit or something?" Busisi pa nito sa kabuuan ko.
"What?God! No No! Eliz, I'm not sick if that's what you think." Di makapaniwalang utas ko rito. Gosh! Ang oa talaga nito minsan.
"Good to hear. You looked pale kasi," hagikhik nitong sabi. Napaikot ko nalang ang mga mata ko rito at nagpasyang magretouch. Ayokong magmukhang multo kung sakali mang tama ito. Nang makuntento ay sakto namang tumunog ang bell hudyat ng pagsisimula ng klase namin. "Have you eaten lunch yet?"
Bahagya akong natigilan at tila may sariling isip ang katawan ko't tumunog ito. I shook my head. "I'm sorry, I forgot."
"Dang. You're being weird na talaga. Pang ilan na to?" Panenermon nito na ikinatahimik ko na lang. "Now I'm starting to get worry," himutok nito habang hinahatak ang kamay ko palabas ng comfort room. "Daz," tawag nito pagkaraan.
I hummed in response.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?" Takang baling ko rito.
"I feel like I've neglected you as my bestfriend and I feel really bad about it," anito.
I sighed.
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