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Shaniyah Black.
Loosing Marcus was weird. I don't think I actually registered that he was dead until a few months ago. Today marks the third year since his passing and I'm still sober.. barely but that's besides the point.
Him dying was like trying to forget someone you've already met, loved and cared for. It's simply impossible. I don't feel anything nowadays, everything is so grey. I see people growing and living their lives but I'm stuck. With a dead husband.
I've been through hell and back and I finally found peace but god decided to take it all away from me. Sometimes I hated that I still believed in him.
Monday.
"I'll be back around midnight." Clover said but before she could walk past me I stood in her way, "No you will not." I stated and she stared me dead in the eyes before let out a sarcastic laugh.
"Why? Didn't get a top up on your pi"— before she could finish I slapped her in the face so hard that she fell to the ground, "Don't you dare speak to me that way."
"Why not?! It's the truth." "Don't let me put my hands on you again."
I've done so much wrong in my life but I've bared my karma many times before so for my daughter to be like this is just exhausting.
"I've had enough." "Enough? You're the problem!"
"Jake!" I screamed on top of my lungs and I heard his heavy footsteps running down the stairs, he didn't speak or acknowledge either of us until he grabbed Clover by her shoulders.
"For once can you please shut the fuck up." "Why're you defending her?"
"I'm not. I don't care enough, we're here to celebrate her husband's life and you're somehow making this whole situation about yourself. Her husband died! I almost died and you still have no sympathy? Stop taking your rage out on her because you wasn't one of the kids she fucked up with. She sacrificed her life to raise you. She's been sober your entire life, so stop running with old news. You're a drug addict so it's weird that you find time to shame her for her past mistakes."
"You don't know shit about me!" She screamed "Drug addict?" I asked confused
He turned around to look at me and I knew it was my turn.
"She's clearly on more than weed. She's out all times of the night, she's rude and I reckon she hasn't been to an actual lesson in a month. Your husband died. I don't get it but I sympathise with you because I saw how much he changed you, how much you both loved each other but mom he's gone. He's been gone for almost three years. It's like you're here but you're not. Life is passing by you. We need you. We're you're kids."
