looking through his glasses.

part 9/ all my walls came down

let me tell you something.
let me say the questions i think about out loud just for a moment.
why in the fuck did our hands fit that way.
why the fuck could i breathe so easy around you.
all my fucking walls came down that night.
every
single
fucking
one
of
them.
it felt like i was 7 again.
before shit started going down in my life and i learned to protect myself physically and mentally.
i grew stone walls
and people wrapped the poison ivy vines around them trying to get under my skin.
i built walls and fences.
i planted myself in the ground at eight years old and i haven't moved since.
people have tried to uproot me and move me but here i stand frozen still, unmoved.
but around you that night,
i took a look outside of my walls and fences and pushed all the vines away to see what the world was like outside of this hell i built.
and all i saw was you.
it was so fucking easy to breathe i stepped outside for a moment, reached out for your hand and jesus christ, it was perfect.
that alone made me feel a way i havent in years.
like i was fucking free for just a night.

*note this was most certainly not easy to post for the world to see*