FOOL, carlos madrigal.

032.

RUNNING UP THAT HILL

summary: reader dies during the falling of casita. carlos blames himself and wished it was him who died.

they/them pronouns used

ANGST ANGST AND EVEN MORE ANGST!!!!

was listening to running up that hill and then i got this idea. idk about you guys but i think carlos would love kate bush

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━━━━━━━♡

it went by so fast. abuela and mirabel were arguing, yelling at each other when suddenly casita erupted into cracks. everything was falling apart as mirabel tried to grab the candle. camilo and isabela followed after her, trying to save her before they fell to floor as well.

carlos grabbed y/n's arm, tugging them away, "y/n, we have to go!" he gasped slightly as a piece nearly fell on them, immediately pulling them away. "y/n, come on!"

y/n was staring at the candle and their best friend. they gulped before gently pushing carlos' hand on them.

"mi amor, what are you doing?!" he exclaimed as they started to run towards the candle.

"just go!" they didn't look back at him, making their way upstairs.

carlos watched them with worried eyes. casita then pushed everyone but mirabel and y/n out. they were roughly thrown out, forced to watch as their beloved household fell.

mirabel and y/n managed to grab the candle before the whole house collapsed. y/n looked up as a piece of a wall came falling on them. then it was pitch black for them.

"y/n!" shouted mirabel.

-

mirabel held the candle in her hands, the light was now out. casita was able to protect her in time but y/n, they were the unlucky one.

there was dust everywhere, bits and pieces of what used to be casa madrigal was spread around. everyone was in a panic, talking amongst each other.

"my powers, they're gone!" camilo cried out to carlos. "i don't.. wh- what about antonio? what's he gonna do?"

carlos didn't respond to him, staring at where y/n used to be. his eyes were widened, almost bloodshot. he was trying to not cry in front of everyone else but the fact that their partner wasn't there with him made it hard.

"carlos?" camilo mumbled. he snapped his fingers in front of his face. "oye, carlos."

carlos' brain was fuzzy, every other noise surrounding him was blocked out. all he thought about was y/n. were they okay? where are they?

he then snapped out of it when camilo started shaking him. he looked at his older brother with a frown before scoffing and shoving his hands off of him.

carlos started walking around, looking for y/n. his eyes scanned the area. mirabel was already found but where was y/n?

"y/n!" he called out weakly. "y/n, where are you?"

he sniffled and wiped any tears that threatened to fall.

"y/n, this isn't funny," carlos muttered out.

dolores walked up to his side and tapped on his shoulder. he turned around, "what?"

"it's y/n... i found her," she said. she didn't look happy.

carlos swallowed thickly before nodding, following her to where y/n was. when he saw them his eyes widened.

there laid y/n, their eyes closed and they weren't breathing at all. there was blood pouring from the back of their head.

"y-y/n?" carlos choked up on his words, kneeling down next to them. he pushed some hair that was in front of their face. "y/n, please. hey, this isn't funny, wake up!"

he started to cry, "i don't like this, y/n, wake up."

(CHRISSY WAKE UPPP!!! sjfdh im so fucking sorry 💀)

carlos cradled their face in his hand, raising their body up slightly and had his other hand on their back. "y/n, please, please," he whimpered out. "don't leave me, not like this."

dolores stood behind him with a frown plastered on her face. carlos puts two fingers on their neck, finding their pulse. nothing. he shook his head, not believing it. he grabbed their wrist and found their pulse again. nothing. they're gone.

while carlos was sobbing his heart out, the other madrigals were trying to find mirabel. dolores puts a hand on his shoulder in a comforting way before leaving him with y/n.

-

it's been a year now since casita collapsed and since y/n died. casita was rebuilt and a few months earlier there was a funeral for y/n.

carlos sat in front of y/n's headstone. he frequently visited their grave on his free time, to talk to them and leave some gifts.

he grabs the letter he written himself from his pocket. he sighed loudly as he unfolded it.

"dear, y/n," carlos started. "it's been a year now since you've left."

"and honestly... things have been shit without you," he read out loud. "y/n, i miss you. so fucking much. i miss staying up late with you, talking about the stupidest shit. i miss cuddling with you, having you in my arms as i kiss you all around. i miss pranking my brother with you."

carlos' tears started to fall onto the paper. "y-you know.. i was, um, joking about this with camilo earlier," he laughs to himself heartlessly, "but honestly i would do this if i could."

"and if could.. i'd make a deal with god," he said. "and i'd get him to swap our places. i mean it. it's me who deserved to die that day, not you."

his voice was shaky as he struggled to continue, "y/n, s-sometimes i cry myself to sleep thinking about you. and sometimes, i-i hope something bad would happen to me."

carlos lets out a sob, putting a hand over his mouth. he couldn't continue reading the letter as it made him break down.

he sighs and wiped his tears. "it's my fault that you died, i should've done something," he continued. "i stood there like a moron as you ran. i just wish i could swap places with you."

carlos sighs again as he started folding the letter. he places the paper next to the flowers he left last week.

"te quiero, y/n. siempre."

A/N
i was feeling angsty i apologize 😹😹
translations:
te quiero, y/n. siempre. - i love you, y/n. always.