Glimpse Of Us ✓

3

3rd person POV:

"I am sorry." Taehyung whispered as he stared at the gravestone which was under a tree as he leaned back on it while hugging his knees.

"That's all i have been saying these days to you, isn't it. But what do I do other than that?" He asked from no one as he looked up at the cloudy sky instead.

"I failed to protect your brother, failed to be a good husband, failed to cherish him, failed to take care of him, failed at be responsible for him, failed at keeping him happy, failed to love him, failed at everything.

It was your last wish for me to take care of him, wasn't it? To take responsibility of him, and for tha you asked me to marry him.. atleast that's what you told me.

I didn't mean to.. but i heard everything he talked to you a few minutes ago.. i didn't know.. i didn't know anything that he is suffering so much..

i didn't know he loved me from long ago. I didn't know that he knew that I had been lying to him.. i didn't know he knew that every time I looked in his eyes.. i see you.. i see us.

Everytime i look at him and say 'i love you' it's never meant for him but for the 'you' that i see in his eyes.. i admit that. I didn't know that he knew it wasn't meant for him.. i thought i did a good job at keeping him happy by accepting him when he confessed to me.

I didn't know he noticed every single time i was looking for you instead of him whenever i am in his arms. I didn't know he wasn't ready.. i thought that's what a husband is supposed to do that's why i had sex with him.. that maybe he wasn't happy because of that because i always saw him being gloomy. For that i imagined you because i can't even think of making love to anyone other than you.. i never realised that every time i said your name as well.

He is perfect you know.. extremely perfect.. a little perfect for me. I didn't know he forced himself to be for that.. i didn't know he forced himself to be 'you'.. i swear i didn't.

I didn't know he learnt cooking for me because 'you' cooked for me.. and here i am eating outside most of the times when i know he has cooked at home for me because his cooking reminds me of you. He still doesn't stop cooking for me and waits for me every single day and Cooks breakfast for me as well.

I didn't know he learnt singing for me because 'you' used to using for me.. i was once sick.. you used to sing for me whenever i was sick because i had trouble sleeping didn't you? He must have known that so he tried singing for me to help me sleep as well.. i yelled at him because it reminded me of you. He still sang to me when i was asleep.. you know i am not a deep sleeper.. i could hear him.. his voice is exactly like you.

You used to have long black hair didn't you? He growed them out like yours and stopped dyeing his hair to be like you. I asked him to cut them because they reminded me of you. He still didn't cut them and kept growing them.

You used to love cross dressing didn't you? He brought many clothes like that to be like you.. he wore them once but i asked him to never wear them again and throw them all away because they reminded me of you. He still wears them even when he feels uncomfortable in those and never threw any of them away.

You didn't have bunny teeth like he does, right? He once even got an appointment to get them fixed like yours but that got cancelled later because he had to come with me for a business party.

He left his job as a dance coach because you did too after getting married to me. You did because it was your choice and you weren't happy with your job. Dance was his passion yet he left it because he wanted to be you and do the same thing you did after getting married.

He tried so hard in everything.. every single thing was right there.. yet i didn't notice anything till now. I remember once seeing a photo of him with you.. he was smiling so big there.

He is always smiling when he talks to me.. but it's totally different than the one i saw in that photo. I didn't know the smile he always has was fake.

Everything was obvious enough that he was trying to be Kim jungwoon and not Kim Jungkook.. yet i never realised that. He has been trying to remove his own identity so he can satisfy me.. I didn't know that.

I was just so oblivious of everything.. i didn't know that i was hurting him even more every time i tried to do what a husband is supposed to do.. everytime i said 'i love you' back to him.. i really thought i was keeping him happy.. i didn't know he was suffering inside the whole time.

I am so sorry for doing this to him. It should be him who i should be saying sorry to and i will say that to him.. but for right now.. i am sorry. What i have done to him is not forgivable.. but i hope atleast one day.. both you and him forgive me for this.

You are the one i have always loved, he has tried to make me fall in love with him by every means.. yet all i try Is look for you. I am sorry.. even after two whole years.. i just can't get used to this.. just can't fall in love with him when all i can see is you.

I am sorry for ranting it out to you.. i will be leaving now. I am sorry but i love you." Taehyung said for one last time as he wiped his tears before he stood up and dusted his pants.. he looked at the grave with teary and guilty eyes before walking away from there.

_________