Hypotheticals

33-Heartdropping

tw; suicide mentioned in song lyrics

(Directly following Robin's departure)

Steve sits up from his bed, frustrated. He walks over to his stereo and slams the power button. The music stops abruptly. Anger, is what he feels. Anger courses through his veins. All he wants is to see Eddie. All he's wanted for the past two weeks is to talk to Eddie. Talk to him like it was before. But what happened that causes him to call it before? Why is Eddie suddenly hiding from him, avoiding him?

Sure. He gets to drive Eddie home on the days that Eddie allows him to. And they work shifts together still, so he sees him often enough. But for a couple, two people dating? They are highly lacking. He just wants to see Eddie, to talk to him. Talk to him about the horror movie he almost rented last week. He wants to tell him about the song he heard on the radio that reminded him of Eddie. He wants to tell Eddie how stupidly amazing he is.

Without thinking, he grabs his keys. Slowly he makes his way down the stairs. He doesn't know if this is a good idea. Should he do it or not? He doesn't give himself much time to decide, as he's already turning off the lights to his room and shutting the door.

His feet fall heavy on the stairs as he nears the front door. His brain is muddy with thoughts of Eddie that he's not even sure he's put his own shoes on as he walks out the front door. His parents car is out of the driveway, making it easy for him to get to his car. They're out at another dinner party.

He unlocks his car and thumps into the seat. Despite his emotions, he takes the time to close the car door softly. He shakily puts the keys in the ignition and backs the car out of the long driveway. If he didn't need to keep his feet on the pedals, his knee would be bouncing in negative anticipation.

One thing Steve has hated since he was younger is nighttime on his street. The lack of streetlights was eerily uncomfortable. Even before he had his license. He would look out the windows and feel, dark. Now, driving down his street, he could feel it all over.

His mind quickly engulfs in thoughts of Eddie. What is he doing right now? Is he okay? Does he want to see Steve right now? Is he thinking about Steve? What is he doing? What is he doing? Where is he? Is he in bed or at his desk? Is he listening to music or playing music? What is he lsitening to? What is he playing? Is he thinking this much about Steve as Steve is him?

Steve shakes his head frustratedly and huffs. He reaches for the radio and cranks the volume up. Loud music blasts out of the car's speakers. An unfamiliar rock song booms. Steve bops his head to the music, but not necesarily out of enjoyment. More out of necesscity. Need to get him out of my head.

Should be made unemployed
Then make yourself null and void
Make me feel good
I feel good

The song ends, another beginning. The song itself doesn't peak his attention, but rather the band announced with it. He fights to shut his eyes in defeat. Eddie flows back into his head.

Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness I cannot feel and love to me is so unreal

He's heard this one before. He slams the volume dial, muting the radio. He sighs.

---

A few minutes later, the silence is just too loud. He un mutes the radio and another song finishes. Another unfamiliar song begins. Hears clapping and counting and a very bass like guitar riff. He recognizes the voice from somewhere, but he can't place it. At least it doesn't remind him of Eddie. He drives, music playing slightly quieter in the background. He drives up to the entrance of the trailer park, Don't Try Suicide by Queen playing.