If you don't want to read the rant skip to the part titled News.
Trigger warning(s) - Nightmares, sleep paralysis(?), blackouts, burnout, not letting self regress, intrusive thoughts, meltdown, tics
Rant.
I'm tired, I can sleep, my brain has become my enemy, it tells me that if I don't do this one thing, something bad will happen and I do it! Even if I know it's irrational and stupid, but I still do it! And I want to know why, and I won't get counciling till the 6 week holidays or after so my mental health is going to continue to burn and I can't do anything about it!
I can't sleep either, I try to but I'm scared to, scared of nightmares scared rhat I'll wake up unable to move because that's my new routine, im stressed and tired and burntout and I've never blacked out more in my life! And I can't regress because I might get found out, then I'm really gonna panic like omg what now panic, so no matter how much I want and need to regress I can't!
And that's led to meltdown after meltdown after meltdown meaning now I'm burntout and can't sleep, and to top it all off my sibling I'd purposely triggering my tics! They know they shouldn't! And I've explained that! Because that hurts! And when I explained that I don't like jokes being made about them my mum said she'd never tall to me! It's not the only thing we talked about and she knows that talking about them make them worse!
I'm so tired and I can't get my tutor to help because he'll tell my mum then I am gonna panic, so God help me because if I hear one more she/her I'll she/hurl myself put a window!
News -
New chapter coming soon. Slowly writing it.
Time of publishing - 00:09
Date of publishing - Wednesday 13 July 2022
Word count - 326@
YOU ARE READING
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