Between The Books-Michael Clifford

Forty Seven

Kyle and I get back to Carla's room, and Kyle unlocks the door.

"Thanks, Kyle. Thanks for coming today, you and Carla. Jax appreciates it." I say as he opens the door.

"Oh, sure. Sorry about his mom. I can't even imagine. How's he doin'?"

"He's doing ok. He had a hard time at the cemetery."

"Yeah, I saw. Let me know if you guys need anything." He walks in, turning on the light and holding the door open for me.

We walk inside and Kyle goes over to the desk, grabbing his bookbag. He sits down on Carla's bed and opens it. "Sit down, this'll take me a few minutes. I'm not very organized." He says, laughing.

I sit down, pushing over a pile of Carla's clothes, including her favorite OSU sweatshirt she's almost always wearing.

"Thanks for going over the notes now. I really do NOT want to study, but I'm barely at a 'C' in that class so I guess I'd better."

"Seriously? History's your major, Star!" Kyle says, looking up at me.

"No, I know. It's just that professor! I swear, just hearing his voice puts me in a deep sleep. I HATE that class. How can you stand it?!"

"Oh. I'm just naturally brilliant. I hardly have to be conscious in that class, I can still pull an 'A'."

"Brilliant...and humble! Such a rare pairing in a guy. Too bad you're ugly, right? Otherwise you'd have it all goin' on." I say, grinning.

"Ha! NICE! So how are you and Mikey? You gotta tell Jax, Star." He says, pulling out a couple of books and his laptop.

"What? Why would you..." How could he possibly know?!

"Don't worry. No one else saw it. I did because you and I talked about him the other day. You guys are together."

"Yes, but JUST this week, Kyle. I was gonna tell him Saturday night, then when I finally found him, he dropped the bomb about his mom. I couldn't do it then!"

"Yeah, but you gotta do it soon. Don't string him along for his own good, you know? It won't make it better, just hurt more if he finds out you've been lying to him."

He pulls up the notes from class and shows them to me. ''These are all from today. All this, here, it's just extra stuff he was talking about. You know how he gets distracted, fucking goes off about something totally unrelated. Just in case it DOES show up on the quiz, I put it in the notes. I'll email them to you."

I nervously start pulling on a loose thread from my sweater.

"Do you think I should tell him there's someone else, or just that I don't think we should see each other anymore?"

"You need that class, Star. Plus you don't wanna tell Carpenter about you and Mikey, you'll crush the old dude! You're the hottest girl in his class...well, when you go." He says grinning.

"Funny. Hilarious, Kyle. Talkin' bout' Jax here."

Kyle smiles.

"Well, if you don't tell him there's another guy...he's gonna know there is. You guys were doing' good, now suddenly you're done with him? That's another guy. Only thing that makes sense...and he'll see that. Fuckin' don't tell him it's Mikey! He'll find him and try to beat his ass. He won't get anywhere with that though. Jayce and Marcus will stop that from happening, if Mikey doesn't. No way they let their guitar player go down."

Kyle finishes emailing me the notes then closes his laptop.

"You think I'm shit, doing this to him right now?" I ask.

"Star, it's not your fault his mom died right at the same time you decided to be with Mikey. Bad timing. The longer you wait though, the more likely he's gonna think you been cheating on him and lying because you felt sorry for his fuckin' ass. No guy wants to be pitied, you know? Just do it and get it over with. He's got Nate to commiserate with, just getting his ass dumped by Laney. They'll spend the next few weeks getting' wasted, find some new girls, and then it'll be no big deal."

"Wow, don't hold back." I say. I know Jax and I are done, and I know I had no problem moving on...but hearing Kyle talk about Jax being good to go in just a couple weeks.

"Sorry, but you don't want him anymore, Star. I bet if you thought about being WITH him....like that, you'd probably freak out about it." He puts his laptop and books back in his bag.

"Oh, well yes, that's one way of putting it. He touched my ass a few nights ago, when he put his arm around me, and I ended up running into the bathroom and throwing up."

"Ok, so he physically makes you ill. Harsh." He says, laughing.

"Well, it didn't help that I was drunk, had eaten nothing that day....and just had sex with Michael."

"Oh...yeah, I can see how that might cause that reaction." He grins.

Maybe like I was saying to Jax before about Laney and Nate, not really being in love...maybe that's true of us as well. I know what I feel for Michael isn't the same as whatever Jax and I had. It's so much more intense. My whole body, and my head, just consumed by my need to be with him. It was never that way with Jax. I wanted him, bad...but I didn't think about him constantly. Didn't have a physical reaction to him just by being close to him.

"Listen, I have to pick up Carla. If you wanna talk more, I'll be back in about thirty minutes. Carla would wanna help too, so just come over and get us." He stands up at the same time I do.

"Thanks, Kyle."

"No more Michael, not until you talk to Jax, right?"

"Right. Don't worry. We talked about it Saturday night. We've stayed away from each other this week, except for the funeral today. It won't be a problem."

I walk out with Kyle and he locks the door. We say goodbye and he walks down the hall to leave, as I unlock the door to my room. Kyle's a good friend. It's nice to have friends who are guys, when you need to get a guys opinion on relationship stuff.

I open my door and walk inside, flipping on the light. I shut the door and turn around.

Oh no. This is gonna be a problem.