Between The Books-Michael Clifford

Fifty Two

Star's POV

We walk into Michael's and only see Scutter, Toby and Becca.

"Hey guys!" Becca says from the couch. Toby and Becca are under a blanket and Scutter's sitting in a chair with his guitar.

"Hey Becca, where's everybody?" Michael asks, shutting the door behind him.

"Uh, Synna's sick, she's asleep and....I think Marcus and Laney are too." She says, looking at Toby.

"Yeah they went up a couple hours ago. Where you guys been?" Toby asks.

"Library." I say, taking off my coat. "I had to work, then I went and found Michael up in the map room after I got off."

"Cool. There's a movie on..." Toby starts to say.

"Yeah, Silver Linings Playbook. Has Katniss in it. You seen it?" Becca finishes for him.

"Yes, it's really good. You like it?" I ask, sitting down beside Becca.

"Not bad. Both of them are fucking bat shit crazy." Toby says, laughing.

"Hey man, what's that you're playing...it's not new, right?" Michael asks, walking into the kitchen.

"Yeah, get your guitar. Let's put it together. What's Going' On, by Four Non Blondes, early 90's. Strippin' it down, harder edge." Scutter says.

Michael leaves to get his guitar and I sit down on the couch by Toby.

"So they both die." I say, grinning.

"Course. They always do!" Toby smiles.

"How's Jax, Star?" Becca says.

"He's doing ok. Did Synna and Scutter tell you about him using?"

"Yeah. That's too bad."

"Not sure he is. I'm gonna talk to him tomorrow when he gets back from Mount Vernon." I kick my shoes off and take off my jacket, tossing it over the back of the couch.

"That makes it hard...you talking to him about you guys being over, but you need to do it." She sits up, picking up her mug from the coffee table.

"Really hard. I know he's not my problem, but I don't think I could live with myself if I just kicked him to the curb, then he gets his scholarship pulled, and goes down in meth flames. I'd feel horrible."

"Sure, but not really your problem, Star. He's a big boy." Becca says, taking a drink. Staring at me over her mug. Definitely giving me attitude.

Um...why?

"He is, but..." I get cut off by Toby.

"That's tough, Star. I think you waiting 'till you can see where he's at with the drugs is probably the best bet." Toby says, standing up and walking to the kitchen.

"Of course you'd say that, Toby. Always looking out for everybody." Becca says just loud enough for us to hear her.

"Uh, sorry, Babe, but just like Jax's a big boy...so is Mikey. Coffee, Star?" He says, giving her a pissy look. He waves me over.

"Um...yes, thanks. I drink it when I'm at work and have kind of become addicted to it." I stand up and walk to the kitchen.

"I'll take some, Toby. Listen Becca, don't be a bitch to Star. She and Mikey can deal with this, he don't need you gettin' in the middle of it." Scutter says.

"Shut up, Scutter. I'm not in the middle of it, but I have a right to say what I want." Becca shoots back.

I get in the kitchen just as Michael comes back out with his guitar. He sits down on the end of the couch. He and Scutter start talking about what key the song should be in...blah, blah, blah.

"Star, Becca's just worried about Mikey. The last girl he was dating totally fucked around on him and it crushed him when he found out. He was really into her. She don't want to see him hurt again...if you decide to stay with Jax." Toby says, quietly. He gets out a mug and pours coffee in it then hands it to me.

"Oh...no I understand that, but Toby, I'm NOT staying with Jax. I'm over him and COMPLETELY in love with Michael. I won't hurt him." Now it makes sense, Becca's attitude with me.

Toby's smiling. "Wow. I had no idea you guys were this far into it. Well, actually, I knew Mikey was."

What?

"What? What did I say?" I'm trying to remember if I said something offensive?

"Uh...you just said you were in love with Mikey." Toby opens the fridge, gets out the milk and hands it to me.

Shit. Did I?!

"I....uh...did I?" So embarrassing. I can feel my face getting hot.

Toby's still grinning as he nods his head. "Does he know?"

"No, I mean...I haven't even thought about it...not really!" I look into the living room. Scutter and Mikey are playing and Becca's watching her movie.

I move next to Toby and grab his arm. "Toby, I've NEVER felt anything like this before. Whatever I had with Jax...well it wasn't like THIS. Do you think...wait. What do you mean, Mikey is this far into it?"

Toby fills his own mug then puts the coffee pot back on the warmer.

"Ok, Mikey talks to me about shit. He talks about you A LOT, Star. So, while he hasn't actually said it to me...I can tell he's headed that way, if he's not there already." He says, taking the milk back from me and pouring some in my mug.

I'm just looking at him confused. He pours some in his then puts it back in the fridge.

"In love with you, Star. That's what we're talking about. Sugar?"

"Uh...yes."

Toby adds a couple of spoons of sugar and stirs it, then hands it back to me.

"Baby, you need to sit down and drink your coffee. Don't worry about fucking Becca. I'll keep her under control. You and Mikey...you do what you have to do. You guys'll be together soon." He smiles and squeezes my arm. "Just be careful of Jax if he's using. Don't get mixed up in that shit." He walks back out of the kitchen.

Toby said he thinks Michael might be falling in love with me.

That's what this is! All the times I'm wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. Why I can't stop thinking about him. Can't control myself around him. Why I have this all consuming need to always be with him!

It's love!

I'm in love with Michael.

I smile to myself and bring my mug of coffee to my lips.

...and HE is falling in love with me.