Between The Books-Michael Clifford

Thirty Seven

Jax and his mom have always been super close. She was just like him. Always laughing, wicked sense of humor, and sarcastic. She loved being outside, doing just about anything. On the weekends, on the family tv, was football, soccer, hockey, whatever sport was in season....except basketball. Both Jax and Maggie, his mom, hated all things basketball. Jax and his buddies would always hang out at his house and watch all the games...that is unless they were in one themselves.

His dad was never really too interested in Jax or his life. He spent most of his time in his study, reading or working. He was an academic, always with his nose in a book. He was a psychiatrist, his office was located out of their home. Jax grew up understanding Dad was usually in his study...which meant he was with a patient or working on one of his many articles for the Psychology Today magazine. Jax knew his dad's rules well.

Stay out. Find something to do. Don't bother me.

....but his Mom, was ALWAYS there for him.

Jax hasn't had the best life. His mom and dad split up when he was seven and that's pretty much when his dad checked out of his life. Only showing up occasionally, and usually not for more then a couple of days. Just long enough to flaunt his financial success in front of Jax and his mom....and to try and get his mom to fuck him.

Course she wasn't an idiot. Always slammed the door in his face.

His mom always worked, even when Jax was little, but he stayed with his grandma, who lived across the street from them, until he was old enough to be home alone. Even though his mom worked a lot, she still spent all her free time either with Jax...or about Jax. He's an only child, her baby, and she was always proud of him. Of who he was, and who he was working to be. Jax was big into sports and his mom NEVER missed one of his games. Whether it was soccer in the spring, or football in the fall, she was always there. She'd trade shifts at the Pepsi bottling plant where she worked. Whatever she had to do to be a strong support system for him, she did. When he decided to go to OSU, she was so excited. He got a full ride football scholarship playing for the Buckeyes. Wide receiver, one of the best on the team. When it was soccer season, he was their goalie. She was at every game they had, from community soccer, flag football, up through middle school and high school, and then when he became a Buckeye....she was a Buckeye mom.

I've spent plenty of weekends at Maggie's. Jax and I went there probably at least once a month if not more, and then we saw her every time she came down for one of Jax's games. I loved Maggie. She was really a great person inside and out. I know how much this is killing Jax, and I hate it.

Jax said it was sudden, completely unexpected. An aneurism at work last night. They rushed Maggie to the hospital, but she didn't make it. Her boss called Jax as soon as it happened, but she lives in Mt. Vernon, not far from Columbus, but in this case...just far enough that Jax couldn't get there in time. He said he'd been on his way to the bar to meet us when he got the call. He turned his truck around and never took his foot off the gas till he pulled into Mt. Vernon Hospital. His mom had died just twenty minutes before he got there.

This is the worst day of my life. Of course that's not saying much. I haven't lost anyone. I've been lucky I guess. My parents are married and happy. I still have both sets of grandparents. My brother and I are best friends.

Until a few weeks ago....Jax was my world. The absolute light in my already blissfully happy life. The worst thing that had happened to me up until then was when I broke my arm at the age of seven, trying to 'fly' off the roof of our shed. This was Seth's idea. When my mom and dad said they weren't paying for college until my grades got up...and I had to get a job, I was so pissed. Thinking now about how mad I was...I'm embarrassed.

When I was flying off my shed, Jax's parents were divorcing. When I was starting my new job, silently cussing my parents out for doing this to me...that was the VERY DAY Jax lost me. Even though at the time...I had no idea that the blue haired boy with the amazing green eyes, the first person I helped at my new hated job, was going to blow my world apart.

I'm walking towards the library. I can't believe how the day started...and how it's ending up. I obviously didn't break up with Jax. I'm not going to kick him when he's down...and you can't get much further down then having your mom die. Now I have to find Michael and tell him.

That, is something I really don't want to do.

I'm still breaking up with Jax, but I have to wait a while, at least until the funeral's over...and maybe longer. He's gonna need me to get through this. Me and Laney are the closest people he has to family. His mom's parents died years ago, and his dad's parents...well they never cared for Maggie. Thought Geoffrey, Jax's dad, had married beneath him.

I walk into the library, looking at the massive clock hanging above Leo's desk. Leo's not here yet. Our shifts don't start for an hour. Michael said he'd find me once I got to work, but I'd really rather tell him this somewhere quiet, not right in the middle of my work besties. Tyler and Leo are awesome, and they'll be suppirtive of me right now, of Michael too, but this just sucks in the worst way...for everybody, I need it to be just us.

I walk up to the third floor and head towards the back right side. There's a cozy place with a fireplace that I know Michael likes to hang out. I'm sure that's where he is.

Just as I round the corner I see him.

Wow. He just does something to my whole being every time I see him....and it starts with me having about four seconds of no breath. He's sitting in a big brown leather chair, his books and bag on the table next to him.

I walk up to him just as he looks up. Seeing me, he smiles. Such a genuine, sweet smile. I know how much he cares about me. I can see it on his face.

"Hey. I didn't think I'd see you this soon. Sit, tell me how it went. Did you find Jax? Is he OK?" He says, pushing his books over for me to sit.

I sit down on the corner of the table beside him, dropping my bag and pulling off my coat.

He's so fucking beautiful. I hate to tell him Jax and I are still together. Only for a while.

Just for a little while.

I take a breath. "Oh...Michael, no. He's not OK."