confused - byler

04 - Boys Don't Cry

I sob into her shoulder like a little kid as she keeps me wrapped up in her arms, whispering 'it's okay' to reassure me.

"This guy, C-Cooper invited me over to hang out and drink. I wanted to go because they're cool, but they started saying some really mean things about Will. Calling him really bad names. I - I hit him and we got into a fight and I don't know." I cry, staying wrapped in her arms.

"What kind of names?" Nancy asks quietly.

"Queer." I say, so quietly it was almost inaudible. I hear her let out a sigh and she hugs me a little tighter.

"I'm so sorry Mike. They are dicks. But I'm glad you stood up for Will." she says.

"Of course I did. He's my - best friend." I say hesitantly. I don't even know why I paused before I said best friend, but it just felt weird. There aren't even words to describe the relationship Will and I have with each other.

"Right. Best friends. How about you get some sleep and in the morning I can help you cover those cuts up with makeup?" Nancy says, leaning away.

"That sounds good. Thanks, Nance." I say, hugging her one more time before going upstairs. I put on sweatpants and a sweatshirt before walking into my bathroom and glancing at myself in the mirror, my breath hitching when I see how awful I look.

My bottom lip is swollen and my nose has dried blood around it. My left eye is black and purple and has a little scar across my eyebrow. I am about to listen to music when I hear the phone ring. I walk into the hallway and pick it up.

"Hello?" I say into the phone.

"Hey, Mike." I hear will say on the other line. I practically scream when I hear his voice.

"Oh, hey Will. Is everything okay?" I ask.

"Yeah it's just you - you didn't show up to Hellfire and I was wondering if you were okay?" Will asks. Shit. I told Will last night that I was going to hellfire today and then I went to Coopers.

"Oh yeah. I uh - uh something came up and I had to get home. I had a - a doctors appointment that I forgot about." I say, not wanting Will to know I hung out with Cooper and his group of friends.

"Oh, okay." Will says quietly.

"How was it though?" I ask, trying to keep the conversation going.

"It was pretty good. A little boring without you there." Will says, laughing. Just that laugh made a huge smile come across my bloody and bruised face.

"Sorry I didn't tell you. I'll for sure be there tomorrow." I promise him.

"Sounds good. See you in the morning Mike." Will says.

"See you in the morning, Will." I say, almost scared to hang up the phone. I never want to stop talking to him.

Will POV

I know that Mike is lying about having a doctors appointment. We have been friends since kindergarten, so obviously I know when he is lying, and he is definitely lying. He was probably just hanging out with El and felt bad that he missed Hellfire so he made up a stupid lie.

God, why do I have to feel this way about him? It's not normal for a boy to feel like this about another boy. Especially since that other boy is my best friend in the entire world, but I can't stop thinking about him. His chiseled jawline and curly raven hair that falls in his eyes when he talks. The way he says my name.

I feel hot tears start to spill out of my eyes.

"Stop stop stop stop." I tell myself, burrowing under a pile of blankets.

I am sobbing silently when I hear my door open.

"Hey, buddy. I heard some noise and wanted to check on you. Is everything okay?" I hear Jonathan asks. I feel him sit on the bed and he rubs my back through the blankets piled on top of me, this only making me sob harder into by pillow which is now stained with wet tears.

"Everything is fine." I say, trying not to let him hear that I am crying.

"You can talk to me, Will. Please just talk to me like you used to. You've been acting different lately." Jonathan says. I slowly push the blankets off me and face Jonathan who looks a little worried when he sees my red and very puffy eyes.

"Do you - do you think it's weird to be like - to be like Nancy's friend Robin?" I ask hesitantly. I overheard Nancy, Jonathan, Steve, and that girl Robin talking in Jonathan's room one day about how she likes girls, even though she is a girl herself. She seems really cool though.

"Like Robin? What do you mean?" he asks.

"She uh - she likes girls and she's a girl. Do you ever think thats, I don't know, weird?" I question, more tears streaming down my face.

"Not really. When I found out, it didn't change how I saw her. Why?" he asks.

"Because I think - I think I might be the same as her. But with boys. Please don't hate me Jonathan. Please don't tell mom or Hopper or anybody. Please." I sob, burying my head into his shoulder and crying softly, my tears now staining his sweatshirt.

"I could never hate you, and that's fine to feel that way. I'm guessing there is someone in particular." Jonathan says, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

"I guess." I choke out.

"Mike?" he asks, causing me to lean away quickly.

"How did you know?" I ask.

"I see the way you look at him. But I also see the way he looks at you. He really loves you Will." Jonathan says, a spark of hope filling my heart.

"I don't think so. He's dating El." I tell him.

"I know, but that doesn't really mean anything. Are you gonna tell him?" he asks me.

"Maybe. I don't know. Thanks for listening though." I say as he hugs me and then strolls out of my bedroom.

I lay down feeling a bit better and start to listen to 'Boys Don't Cry' by The Cure through my old headphones.