Monochromatic

Chapter 19

Azoria

I almost collapsed as I walked out that building; how could I forget how tiresome that job was so quickly? Oh yeah, that medicine I was prescribed at the door had a lot to do with it, didn't it? It wasn't mandatory that I used them, but I was warned that this job would be a lot harder without them. No one told me how addictive it would be, or how well it reacted with my usual medicine. Nonetheless, I had a promise to uphold, and I was not going to break it now. I scratched the small, itchy, messy bun hanging at the top of my head, a reminder to get it washed one of these days.

'I'm too tired to do anything now, huh? Why am I even doing this job again?'

"Freedom..."

'Freedom must be so lonely...'

The concept never crossed my mind until that day. A client of mine, one of the few who never caused much trouble for me, told me more about that emotion. I knew it existed, but until now I never quite understood it.

'What does he do when I'm away?'

"He has no one but me...yet he acts like nothing is wrong."

I also heard it wasn't good to talk to yourself out loud in public. You'd be perceived as a lunatic. Maybe I was?

Sniffle...sniffle....

I heard a sound from above me, someone...crying? I looked up to see a child not much younger than I, sitting on top of a sturdy tree branch. Stepping into their view, he held something in his hand. He appeared to be startled by me taking a sudden interest in him, almost falling back when he noticed my gaze.

"What's wrong?" I was intrigued.

"Nothing."

"It doesn't appear so; I don't quite believe people cry for no reason. Usually, they cry out of despair."

"Just, leave me alone!"

I did as he requested, feeling his sorrowful gaze in the back of my head.

"You know, knives are dangerous to be holding up there. You could get hurt. If you're hurt, how will you run away from the truth as you do?"

Even without looking I knew my words had reached him just fine.

"I can see right through you, I've been trained to."

I could hear the thud of the adolescent jumping down from the tree, and I stopped walking.

"I'm...sorry..." His voice whispered

"You have nothing to apologize for."

The next thing I knew we were sitting down on the bench discussing what was eating at him. He was thinking about harming himself with that knife he stole from home, and even showed me the scars he had created before. His blue eyes, still wet with tears, were almost completely hidden by his dyed blue bangs. He held his head down, almost ashamed of what he's done.

"I've just been going through a tough time okay...with school work and bullying. My parents are adding on the pressure for me to get into college. It's...just too much, okay. There's no escape, nothing's right. I'm so scared of everything. It's...just so hard to explain in words, so I don't really talk to anyone about this. It's so lonely, you know. I'm all alone to face this by myself. Even if someone was there to care and understand what I mean exactly. There's only one escape."

I looked at him with dull eyes, I didn't feel anything for him. I didn't hold his hand, or tell him that it would be alright, because it won't. He didn't complain, and went on with his story.