Monochromatic

Chapter 37

Libia

Our hearts raced as we crashed through the double doors and into the short hall. We were racing time, plowing through another set of double doors and through the dark, empty lobby. Anyone who saw us this late at night would have called us crazy; then again, if we explained why we were running they would have thought of us crazier. Luckily, no one else was around. The fire had spread quietly and slowly from the outside, but I could still smell the smoke. It was a miracle that the building didn't outright explode, or at least, the plan of it turning out this way didn't backfire. Azoria still held me over her shoulder holding me back from running back inside that building to find my brother. I knew I would have died if I did, I just couldn't stand the thought of him being in there alone. Still, deep inside I knew there was nothing I could do. He was gone, forever. I couldn't feel anything at that moment, not after I realized that fact. My heart and body was numb. No other thought came to mind. Still, I was conscious of everything. I let Azoria rush me away, looking at Freedom and he looked back at me. It wasn't fair, he got to keep his sister but I was left with no one, yet I felt nothing.

We stopped at a bush for a rest, and Azoria finally set me back down on the ground. She took out all of our needles first, then moved on to herself. None of us could cry or wince from the pain for some reason, I guess we all felt numb.

"Libia, when you get on the bus, go home and grab everything you want to keep in one bag, and everything you really need in another. You will carry those bags for a while so plan wisely. We'll meet at the hospital Rave was held in."

"Will you be traveling on the bus as well?" I asked, with the flicker of emotion still within me.

"We'll be fine, we were built for this, and you're far too young to wear yourself out like that."

Azoria gave me a glimmer of a grin, a force of habit maybe, but it was somewhat endearing. Placing a few dollars in my hand as bus fare, Azoria plopped her hand on the top of my head gently, giggling softly in another attempt to rekindle her lost hope.

"So kiddo, do you need us to help you out of this forest or are you alright?" Azoria inquired.

"Yes please..."

It didn't take as long as I expected. Freedom was allowed to hurry along as Azoria slowed down and walked me through. Azoria's navigational skills in the area were impressive to say the least, it figured, seeing how she spoke about how she lived in the wild for a significant amount of her life. The journey was peaceful, and neither of us said anything. As soon as we reached the end we met up with Freedom and Azoria waved goodbye. The pair disappeared behind a cluster of dead bushes and trees next to an alleyway, and I stood and waited for the bus to come.

The rides were short lived and as silent as usual. By now, I had gotten used to the lonesome feeling. I didn't bother to look outside like normal though. My thighs had a surprising amount of scratches on them, and the pantyhose meant to cover them were nowhere to be found. The white uniform I wore from the building wasn't much for the weather; it was a nightgown, a plain, white and blue nightgown reaching only to about 1/4th of my thigh. I already felt the desperate quakes of my need for warmth. My hands quaked the most in this long, unrhythmic motion differing from the rest of my body. My eyes began to burn, but no tears were shed. I felt I lost Rave so many times it made no sense to cry about it as I usually did, so I didn't. Though now that Rave really was dead, this indescribable feeling came over me. It wasn't like any usual emotion, no sadness, fear or anger. It was this sick feeling, yet no guilt or excitement accompanied it. I hopped off the last bus with glazed over eyes, walking forward into my sleepy neighborhood for one final time.

I emptied out my bookbag as well as Rave's.

'He won't be needing it anymore anyway...'

I packed a few things I wanted: my favorite book, a picture of Rave, and the doll he made for me amongst other things. In my brother's bag I packed the things I needed: water, canned food, a first aid kit, a small blanket, some clothes, a pocket knife, etc. Changing into some proper attire with two layers I was prepared to say goodbye. My bag was much lighter, so I decided to put that on first then place the other bag on top of that. I hesitated to close the door to my childhood home, a small hole in my heart for the place I grew up in. Maybe this place is just a quiet sleepy town full of tragedy, but we did have good memories here, didn't we? With a deep breath, the door creaked shut, and I trotted down the three broken steps I knew like the back of my hand. I walked faster, my head down and my hair dangling in front of my face as I headed towards the hospital.