𝑻𝑶𝑲𝒀𝑶 𝑹𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑵𝑮𝑬𝑹𝑺 𝑺𝑪𝑬𝑵𝑨𝑹𝑰𝑶𝑺 𝑨𝑵𝑫 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑫𝑪𝑨𝑵𝑵𝑶𝑵

jokes/pickup lines they'd use on you

so, heyyyyyyyy. idk how much i want to post anymore, so it might be a daily thing. anyway! hope you enjoy! 

mikey:

mikey: baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be fine print

-you just stared at him in confusion

mikey: it mea-

"i know what it means, don't worry"

-he smiles

draken:

-he walks past you kinda hesitantly, than walks back towards you

draken: do you believe in love at first sight, or should i walk past you again?

-you can't help but laugh

draken: did it work?

"who told you that pickup line?"

draken: mikey did-

"exactly"

baji:

-definitely a math pun like-

baji: i'm good at algebra; i can replace your X, and you wouldn't need to figure out Y.

"i thought you were bad at algebra"

baji: >:| *walks away*

"sorry, i didn't mean that!"

chifuyu:

-you two were cuddling together when he said this

chifuyu: are you a bag of treats? because i want to sample you

-you were on the bridge of falling asleep and all you said was~

"why now"

chifuyu: because it's meow or never

-you didn't acknowledge anything he said, so you decide to fall asleep

mitsuya: 

-he walks up to you

mitsuya: y/n, touch my shirt

-so you touch his shirt

mitsuya: do you know what material this shirt is made out of?

-you sit in silence

mitsuya: boyfriend material!

-you can't help but laugh at how cheesy the pickup line was

hanma:

-him and kisaki run up to you while you were walking home

hanma: hey, are you garbage?

"..."

hanma: because i'll take you out!

*slaps him* "what the fuck hanma"

kisaki: she really must love you

hakkai: ( I can see him loving 'The Little Mermaid' franchise)

-you two were watching 'The Little Mermaid' together at his house

hakkai: are you Ariel?

"no-"

~he interrupts you~

hakkai: cause we Mermaid for each other

-you laughed because it was good timing, 

bonten- i feel like these guys would have the most nasty pickup lines

sanzu:

-you were sitting together on a couch

sanzu: y/n, my dick's been feeling a little dead lately. wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?

-you stare at him for a second

-than you get up and walk into your room

-he starts walking after you into your bedroom

[lets just say nothing happened in there] 

ran:

-he walks up to you when you're on your phone

ran: y/n?

-you put the phone down and look at him because it sounds like something wrong

ran: y/n, if i told you i had a 2-inch dick would you still fuck me?

"probably not" (either way)

ran: good, because mine is 8 inches

-you're speechless

-you go back on your phone because you actually thought that it was something important

koko:

koko: hey y/n!

"yes?"

koko: roses are red. violets are fine. you be the 6. and i'll be the 9

-you shake your head 'no'

anyway, now onto stuff idk what else to do but i'll figure it out - buh-bye!