The Devil's Gift/The Bloody Handed

3

Eddie, Dustin and I sat there for what felt like hours. Eddie and Dustin tried to show me the ropes to each character, their stories or archs, and how the multisided die worked, as well as why each color mattered. I was kind of glad Eddie found something to occupy himself, because he was like a toddler. Fun at first, but after a while you get real tired.

"I think I understand a little more now." I say. I really don't, but I just say it to say it. I didn't need a whole lesson.

"Good!" He puts his hands on the table and stands up, stretching. His shirt lifts up revealing his muscular but slim abdomen and the trim of blue plaid boxers. I could see a thin line on his pelvis. He was hairless almost, which was attractive to me. He looks down as he meets my gaze, smirking. I immediately look away. He knew what he was doing; but I wasn't really here to play his games. It was just childish.

I mean- who acts like that? After going through almost death together you think we would be inseparable. You think he would actually want me instead of acting like it. He said he wanted me to himself but he acted as if it was a game. And I wasn't going to be some damn board game for him to play and roll the dice on. I heard all about his reputation and I'm sure it still holds up well to an extent. I roll my eyes and walk away, frustrated. Robin and Nancy were sleeping on the couch, drool slowly falling out of Robin's mouth as her hands laid flat side up in her lap. On the other hand, Nancy slept like a princess would. I plop down in the passenger seat next to Steve, who was all in his lonesome.

"Hey loner." I put my elbow on the edge of the window and lay the side of my head against my fist, closing my eyes.

"Hey, Clary. What made you come up here?" He says suspiciously.

"I'm just here to be here. I needed away from the chaos and on top of that, you seemed lonely. Driving isn't always the best thing you can do with your time." I shrug. I look at him, and try to cover my mouth with the back of my head. "It's almost as if.. you're the mom of the group"

He looks at me. "Oh, no not again!" He closes his eyes and plops his head into the seat. He nods. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. I've grown to it. But honestly I drive because I just enjoy it.. and to get away from the chaos too." He softly laughs. "You got your license?"

I shake my head. "No. But I know how to drive. My dad always took me out driving whenever we had the time- with constantly moving it was near impossible to enroll into a program or get a permanent state license." I sigh and look outside of the window in front of me, watching the road slowly move. "I wish I had that sense of independence. Owning my own beater, fixing it up, blasting out the neighbors, driving it to wherever I wished. Sneaking out late nights with boys I wasn't supposed to be with. Doing drugs to feel something unique. I missed out on all of that, but I can't say I hated it. I gained memories that would be engraved into my mind for as long as I remember. I won't have to think about what shenanigans I got myself caught up into at sixteen, seventeen years old. And I am at peace with it. But I guess I can say I fought a monster in my last year of high school." I nod and then shake my head, laughing.

"I get what you mean," Steve says smiling. He grips the wheel and looks in the mirror at everyone. "Nancy, Robin, Johnathan, me.. all of these kids. They'll never have a normal experience. And I think we are past the point of caring anymore.. we just kind of accepted our reality for what it is. What it might always will be." He tightens his expression and leans back. "I'm just glad you're here with us. I mean, we got you into all of this.. mess, but we gained a real- two real friends along the way." He motions back to Eddie.

I nod slowly. "Yeah, something like that." I scoff almost.

"You guys alright? I'm not really sensing the longing eyes and the head over heels gaze which is strange." He raises an eyebrow at me.

I lick my lips and let out a laughing scoff. "I almost died. I'm pretty sure I was dead at some point. I mean, I took a death sentence for that boy back there. I took a risk not knowing if it would fail or not." I raise my hands and start to talk with them as well. "You think.. you just might think that would be someone's final push to.. you know, make a move? Instead, it's just like we are kids pushing each other down on a playground while your parents tell you that's what a boy does if he likes you." I shake my head. "I just want to focus on this one thing. I don't want to focus on anything else right now except getting out of here alive."

"Yeah. I understand that. You know how childish Munson can be. Why do you think I enjoy being up here? It's a blessing honestly." He taps his fingers against the horn while his other was laid in top of the wheel.

"Yeah, I take it all back. You did luck out." I start to laugh and he does the same with me.

"I'm just glad you're alive, Clary. We all are. I tried visiting you a couple times- I succeeded maybe three times. Munson was pretty adamant on being there all of the time, so obviously I couldn't fit in a conversation with you. Not just that, I just couldn't stand seeing you or Max in such a state." He sighs. "I just hope we can figure out how to save her."

I look over to him, the sunset starting to blare in through the window. "Me too, Harrington. Me too. But who knows what tomorrow brings- hit the books, see if I can be useful in anyway possible. We don't know the full extent to what I can do yet. It's just.. dormant right now." I twist my expression. I feel Steve look at me ready to retaliate, but instead of enabling him to talk I indicate I didn't want to. I bring my right leg up and drape my hand over my knee, closing my eyes.