The Devil's Gift/The Bloody Handed

3

I knew a lot of what I said was stemming from an angry place in my heart. I knew it. Everything has been boiling up, just waiting to explode. But I also wasn't going to put up with certain bullshit. Of course I knew Eddie cared. About my romantic emotions? I'm not so sure. And I've never been the type to let someone toy or mess with my emotions- hell, even let a guy take me out on a date. Call me dramatic, but it didn't sit right with me for him to just sit here and tease me all of the time instead of making an initiative. Lord knows I've been asked out before but I always blatantly told the truth that I wasn't looking. Not that I wasn't looking for someone, but looking to get hurt.

I sit against a nearby tree and look down at the ground. Of course as soon as I sat down, I heard the RV door slam and crunching footsteps in the grass.

"Clary!" Eddie calls out after me.

I look up and I'm met with his body sitting next to mine. He does the same thing I do with my knees and purses his lips. Nothing was said for a while, until he started.

"I'm sorry." I nod, looking up at the dead branches and listening to the crickets. I feel a big hand rest on top of my knee. I look over at him, his eyes almost pleading. "I really mean it, Gregerson. I'm sorry. I just.." he sighs. "I know how to show you my affection. But what I don't know is if we are going to lose each other. It scares me- it doesn't want to make me get too close. Now call me crazy, but that's been the reason why."

I shake my head and grin. "I get it, Eddie. We all fear losing each other. But we even talked about this in the field a month ago. Sometimes you have to go out with a bang, living your full life/ your full potential. You said you wanted me to yourself. No one else. Yet, you seem to not care. If you changed you mind, I'm all ears. I'm not going to sit here and be upset over a decision."

"That's not what I want. I just have a hard time.. loving. I haven't fell for someone as quite as I have for you. I've always been the one to lead a girl on, kinda like her, then tell her I wasn't interested anymore. I'm scared to get close because I'm scared to get hurt. I mean- Harrington has had a thing for you. A man knows when he sees it. I just have the worst luck! I mean- I had- I saw the littlest spark with Chrissy Cunningham and she died within 24 hours."

My heart sunk a little. I get where he was coming from, but I also knew Steve had a slight love bug for everyone he saw within a mile radius. It was his nature. "I know, Eddie. But please also know I'm living and I'm not planning on going anywhere. We are in this thing together; and I can't keep sitting here and denying my emotions for you-"

A pair of hands grab my face tightly and I'm shoved into his lips, a feeling I was still getting into. It was a swift kiss. He pulls away. "Well does that tell you anything, Sparky?" He gives me a soft side smile. I really couldn't stay mad at him for long. But at the same time, his presence calmed me down unintentionally.

I nod, leaning into his lips, our face inches away. "So, what do you want from me, Munson?"

"I want you to all to myself." He pulls in me, and my legs grow hot and weak. I melt into his touch, and try to get my body closer to his. My hand slides slightly under his shirt, feeling his abdomen and gripping the side of him. I move it to his back, then to his face. We part and he looks at me with his seducing gaze. "Don't think for once ever again, I am toying with your emotions. I promise you I'm not." His thumb slides across my cheek affectionately. "I just want all of you and I'm unsure of where to go with it."

I smile, and lean my head against his bony shoulder. I look at the stars then look up at him, our faces perfectly aligned.

He leans down and softly kisses me. He pulls back and looks up, then down at me again. "Fuck it. will you officially be my girlfriend, Clary Gregerson?"