Dear Robin

If you have a girlfriend, I'm jealous of her

Tw: Grief
Also MAJOR st4 vol2 spoilers ofc

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I guess our fall was due to our misunderstanding and mistake riddled situation. I guess that's why we eventually self-destructed.
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Two days.

Two whole days.

That's how long they had gone without properly talking. She understood it wasn't anyone's fault really. Silence had seemed to fill the small town of Hawkins, not the peaceful type but more the devastating type. Nancy still had the image of poor Dustin's face as he sobbed and screamed in pain tattooed into her brain, while he desperately hoped that his fallen role-model would miraculously come back to life... and he didn't. Unsurprisingly, this had caused some memories that she wished she could forget to reappear. Since they had returned home, Nancy wasn't able to sleep through the night - her nightmares consisted of being outcast by everyone, all of them repeatedly telling her it was all because of her, she was the root of all these problems. After each  of the traumatic experiences from the past few years, she would try to push away and prevent the drowsiness for as long as possible - you could say that she was quite the expert at this - because, when her eyes eventually closed, she knew a certain familiar face would come back to haunt her. Nance had accepted that there would always be a Barb-shaped hole left in her heart -that girl was a part of her and stuff like that never fully healed, leaving a very nasty scar - but this feeling was probably intensified by the absence of another significant person in her life. She just needed someone to comfort her, to be there so she wasn't alone with her thoughts but she was too afraid to ask.
    Currently, she was enveloped in her mother's warm comforting arms. She just didn't want this moment to end and to have to face real life. Why couldn't the universe just give her a little break?
   "Hey, Nance?" Karen said in a hushed tone as she moved away to get the boxes of donations and load them into the car. "You do know you can talk to me about anything,right?Your still my little girl no matter what, okay?"

" Yeah,of course, Mom"

Mrs Wheeler gave her a calm, knowing smile before going out onto the driveway. Nancy turned to face the mirror, running a hand through her greasy curls and quickly applied some mascara and eyeshadow to attempt to distract from her obvious eye bags, though obviously it wouldn't fool anyone. For a second, she imagined a younger version of herself looking back at her, her hair still long and her face free of scars. Soon the reflection's oblivious, innocent smile dropped and was replaced with a look of disappointment that Nancy knew to well. Rushing to grab her bag, she left the house with a slightly over dramatic slam of the front door.

"Took you long enough" Yelled Steve.

Ignoring him, she quickly climbed into the back seat of the battered,rusting car. Noticing about ten large  blood stains on the seat beside her, she wondered when the last time he properly cleaned it. As if it was far off in the distance, Nancy vaguely registered the sound of Robins beautiful laugh - like sweet tea on a summer day - god, how she had missed it.

"Hey Nance, did ya hear that?" The angelic girl asked.

Totally lost for words, the brunette simply shook her head. For god's sake, you look so stupid,Nancy! She told herself. Her heart felt as if it skipped a beat - or maybe one hundred - as she caught Robs' gaze in the rear view mirror and from the look on her face, perhaps she had felt that same shocking feeling.
But instead she leant over and ruffled poor Steve's hear calling him a dingus once again as he complained that she would make them crash and all die but still squeezed her hand softly. All the while, as their bantering continued for the rest of the journey, Nancy just watched from afar, not joining in whatsoever.

Just an hour or so later, she found herself assisting a confused teenager on organising food that had been donated to help those in need after the 'earthquake' - if anything could help to remind her that people were suffering right now and that her love life was very insignificant at this moment,it was this. She was able to finally block out the -let's face it,very depressing- thought and focus on these help packages. She had really go into the swing of it : P&J sandwich, canned beans, an apple, bottled water, bread,butter,new bag,P&J sandwich, canned beans, an apple, bottled water, bread,butter,(and so on) -sure it wasn't the best but they were doing they could with these clearly limited supplies. She had to admit it was quite overwhelming, too many people rushing past, too much noise, too many booming voices, too many boxes to unpack and too little help from the guy beside her but she needed a distraction from this mess and wouldn't be able to deal with herself if she didn't at least help. 

"Hey, Sweetheart, could you please go and collect some more sandwiches, they're being made on that table in the corner!" Asked one of the organisers.

"Yes of course!" She swiftly put down they brown paper bag as made her way towards the stall, pushing her way through the bustling crowds. A couple meters away, she noticed who just happened to be making the food she needed. Robin Buckley. And... Vickie? The band girl? She saw Robs smile more genuinely than she had seen her do in days and a slightly sparkle in her eyes as they giggled and joked, passing the peanut butter between them. She watched as they accidentally brushed hands. She watched as she froze. She watched Robin apologised and she watched as Vickie interlocked their fingers.
 
   She just had her this over with, quick and calm. Deep breaths,Nance,deep breaths. A small voice in her head reminded her that, it could of been her, if only she hadn't screwed it all up. Ignoring their obvious flirting,she strode over to the tub-wear filled with neatly-put-together sandwiches and just as she was about to pick them up, she nocked over the large metal container beside her and it fell with a crash right onto her feet, but not before it hit her legs sharply a few times - Nancy immediately knew it was going to bruise pretty badly.

" Oh my god, Nance, are you alright?"
Damn it, Nancy then realised it wouldn't be easy to get away from this.
" Yeah, seriously, Robin I'm fine"

"But you don't look it- not in a bad way, you look great but that looked pretty bad - like a solid 8/10. And,you know, there was like a massive bang, like wow, and it looked... painful"

"Look it's okay, I'm in a rush anyway. Enjoy your... PB&J sandwich making?"

And with that she gathered up the things she had come for and limped back to her station, wishing she could just disappear.
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