Stray Kids Angst Collection

Cold Wind (SeungminxChan Suicide)

This was suggested, I'm so excited I got a suggestion lmao.

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TW- Mentions of suicide (not too graphic) and suicidal thoughts 

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Seungmin had a bad feeling.

It wouldn't go away. He felt like something really bad was going to happen.

The night before, Seungmin couldn't sleep. All the terrible possibilities kept playing out in his head. He tossed and turned uncomfortably. Why do I feel like things will never be the same again?

He glanced at his phone, 2 a.m.

He let out a frustrated sigh and threw his phone beside him onto the bed.

He looked at the clock again, 2:10, it felt like hours but it was just 10 minutes. 

He plugged on his earphones and blared loud songs into his ears.

Finally he drifted off into an uneasy slumber.

The next morning he woke up with pain spreading through his bones. It was the same pain every morning. With a sigh, he picked up his body, and did his morning chores.

After that, he lied down on the bed and stared at the wall. The bad feeling was just starting to grow.

He clenched his teeth, stared into his phone, and tried to shake off the feeling.

'Seungmin?'

He looked at Han's face blankly, as his brother stomped into his bedroom. 

'I've been screaming across the house for 5 minutes now. What are you doing in here?'

'Sorry' he said stiffly.

'Mom says the CSAT results are coming out at 3. You need to come down.'

Oh great.

Seungmin was a top student. He was. But over the course of his last year of high school, his grades went lower and lower slowly- until they could only barely be called average. He still worked hard, but he wasn't keeping up well. And his mom was more than frustrated. Every time his grades came out, his fear to go back home grew stronger and stronger. His parents kept him on edge. He could barely breathe. And worst of all. He didn't want to study anymore. He didn't care about his grades anymore. He couldn't bring himself to care, he barely had the strength to wake up in the morning.

And he didn't know why. He didn't understand why he couldn't even brush his teeth in the morning anymore, without feeling like collapsing from exhaustion. But still he kept pushing, he had to. Somehow. The CSAT was the most important exam he had ever written in his life. Everyone would ask how well he did. Everyone expected so much. And he wrote the exam as well as he could. The problem was, he didn't feel like it went that well. 

He knew that he hadn't done that well.

He hesitantly climbed down the stairs as his brother ran down into the kitchen.

'Hey mom', he said as he walked slowly into the living room of his house. 

'Hi baby, did you hear? The CSAT results are coming out. I think you'll do well, because you're my boy. I know you will.'

He shuffled his feet uncomfortably, he grunted out a small response to satisfy his expectant mother.

'Yes.'