Stray Kids Angst Collection

That High School Friend

 T/W- Depression, eating disorder, body dysmorphia, suicide

Hyunjin smiled as he remembered the overflowing memories that flooded his mind as he stood in front of his old high school.

It was a fond but sad smile. Those memories, however beautiful, were intertwined with painful regret. The tinge of misery spread through those memories like poison.

**flashback**

'Hi!' waved his childhood friend, Sunho, flashing his brightest smile at him, as he ran to catch up with Hyunjin, trudging the road on their way to their school.

'How was yesterday?' Hyunjin asked Sunho, 'what did your parents say about your report card? You're a top scoring student, they must be proud, you might end up in a top university.'

Sunho hesitated for a moment. 

'Yes, I mean, I came at 5th rank, they want me to raise the bar higher next time, but that's ok', he smiled. 

'Pfft atleast its way better than my score.'

What Hyunjin did not know back then was that the smile that came so easily to the lips of that young boy, was not as carefree as it looked. He was constantly tormenting himself to do better, to desperately push that grade higher, to please his parents, who were never ever satisfied. He gave up hours and hours of sleep, and never went out to watch a movie, or play in the arcade, like other children. All he had ever done his entire life, was to study, because he eagerly yearned the approval of his parents, and seeked happiness desperately, which he thought would be found in his grades

The two kids awkwardly trudged to their respective classrooms.

It was during this year that things were going to drastically change for the worse, for their friendship.

At that point of time, Hyunjin had just joined JYP as a trainee, and he was really busy, and he'd not seen his friend in a while. He seemed slightly tired, and chubbier than he was before, But he didn't think too much about it. After all he wasn't in a good situation himself, he was so busy, and barely sleeping between school and training. 

As the classes progressed, Hyunjin retired to the last seats of the class to get away with sleeping through class, as his friend stayed in the front, to pay better attention to the teachers. They were already going their own ways now.

Pretty soon, Hyunjin was starting to lose complete contact with Sunho, and he was busy to the extent that he did not even realise that they were drifting apart, and even when he tried to see him, he got pushed away by Sunho, who said he was busy with studying. Eventually Hyunjin shifted classes to an arts based course, while Sunho stayed in the science class.

One day a year later, during Chuseok, Sunho called Hyunjin, and they spent their time in an amusement park, it had been the most fun that Hyunjin had had in a while. 

'Hey, Jinnie, what do you think about me?', he asked suddenly, flashing one of his bright smiles again. 

'What do you mean?', chuckled Hyunjin.

'Just.. you don't hate me right? Sometimes it feels like no one likes me..'

'You're a really lovely person, who deserves the world, you're really hardworking, and nice, not to mention very handsome.'

'Really?', he smiled.' What if I stopped being a nice hardworking person? Would you still be here for me? What if I become terrible?', he said.

Hyunjin laughed. 'Are you going to become a supervillain?'

Sunho laughed too. 'Just promise me, you'll keep being happy, no matter what happens, I hope you are always loved', he said.

'I promise. But you need to promise me to always smile that smile of yours.'