Stray Kids Angst Collection

Dark Haired Boy Part 3 (Bullying)

Tw- Self harm, bullying, mention of physical assault

'Hey' Changbin said over the line.

'Hi' responded Felix.

'Can I come over to your house?'

'K'

'Cool, I'll see you in 10 minutes'
-----

'How have you been? You haven't been coming to school lately, has anything been happening again?'

'No. Not really, it's been too strangely quiet.'

'Good, it's a good change.'

'It's weird.'

'What is?',  he hummed, moving closer to Lix to listen better.

'What is?'

'How I've basically become likeable and popular since I've met you.' Changbin smirked. 'It's just cuz I'm so charming'

'Shut up' chuckled Felix.

He paused for a moment.
'You know why they bully me right?'

'..'

'Like I said, it's not even something to be bullied over.'

'No but Changbin, I'm such a mess. You need to stay away from me.'

'There's nothing you could do that'd make me run away'

Felix let out a heavy breath.

'Changbin, I've been hurting myself.'

Changbin tilted his head. 'What do you mean?' He said cautiosly.

'I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to tell you, it's just- I really wanted to feel pain. It's an overwhelming feeling to overcome once you are used to the pleasure it gives. I just wished I could disappear. The voice in my head kept convincing me that I needed the pain.

Changbin- I don't think I deserve to keep living. I despise myself so much. I hate myself. I'm so weak and pathetic and ugly. Im just trouble to everyone. I just want to stop breathing- because it's so difficult to breathe. I'm so sad, and I don't even know why. I feel like getting bullied on purpose because I feel like I deserve it.

I don't even know how to express my hatred for myself, I've never hated anyone else this way. I'm so sorry.'

He looked at Changbin's worried face.

'I'm so sorry. I wasn't planning to tell anyone, I just sort of exploded' he sobbed.

'No..' he let out a heavy breath.
'I'm actually glad you told me, that's a lot to go through on your own..'

'I'm sorry- I'm just such an attention seeker Changbin, I just wish I could stop complaining and just be normal, I'm bothering you so much.'

'Where did you hurt yourself?' He said seriously.

Lix glanced at Changbin before offering him his arm. Changbin lifted up Lix's full sleeved black tee to reveal red, purple and brown scars.

He softly traced his fingers against the scars.

Felix winced slightly.

'Don't do it again'

'It's not so easy to stop. I deserve the pain, I don't know how else to cope with my self hatred, and I don't know what else to do- it's like I'm not even in control of myself when it happens- I don't deserve to get better. I don't deserve a friend like you- I don't des-

Changbin pressed his lips into Felix's, still gently holding on to the arm that was so badly cut.

Lix's eyes widened, but he didn't stop him. He started kissing him back, softly, but desperately. He didn't want to let go, he was scared  of being left alone with his unhinged thoughts again. This kiss felt safe. Comfortable. Like it was right.

Changbin cupped his hands on Lix's tear stained cheeks, softly touching all the freckles etched on his face like a galaxy, and smiled into the kiss.
Lix was warm. He smelled like freshly baked brownies and vanilla, his kiss was gentle and his plump lips pressed into Changbin's.

He'd never seen someone that beautiful in his entire life.

He pulled away and smiled softly and sadly at Lix.

'I wish you could just be the luckiest person in the world, because there no one out there's who deserves to be happy like you do. And I'm going to protect you.'

Felix pulled him into a hug.
'You know you're like a puppy right? You keep following me everywhere saying you'll protect me, but you're too tiny and soft for that.'
He hummed into Changbin's chest.

'Thanks though.
Even though you had no reason, you stuck with me, who's nothing but trouble.
Please.. don't ever stop being my puppy.'

(A/N- Sorry Seungminnie 😅)
-------

'Lookkkkk it's wittwe baybeee wixiee.'
Lix cursed as he tried to run.

They circled around him.
'And he's all alone' smirked one of them
Lix let out a soft whimper, as one of them grabbed his arm.

'You think that just because you hang out with a popular guy you're better than us, dont you?? Huh?'

'N...n..n..no'

'HUH? JUST WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? You fucking gay freak?! That guy probably doesn't know how disgusting you are.
And look at your wrists, what? you thought cutting yourself will make him have pity on you? You gold digger! You just wanted his attention didn't you?

He landed a punch on his face, and the frail boy fell on the floor.

'S-so-rr-sorry'

'He thinks he can apologise now- what a joke, you're our little plaything and that's all you'll always be. Get it?'

'Yes'

He placed his foot on Lix's hurt hand and pressed down on it, the boy screamed loudly,
'Like that feeling? We're just getting started', he said, as his friends started kicking at the boy.

They were right. Why did he think he deserved any better? The familiar feeling of getting the air forced out of his lungs rushed over him.

He knew this was the worst possible time to cry, but tears started to fall down uncontrollably.
The laughing and cussing only grew louder.
--------

Loud laughter echoed from a dark alleyway, Chan knew what this meant. He was quite tired of cheap thugs who beat people up in alleys for a few bucks.
He got in his police car and drove to the alleyway.

'Shit, cops', yelled one kid, they scampered away, like cowardly rats.
And there on the ground lay a bloodied blonde boy, weeping out his heart.

Chan knew what this meant.

And he didn't like it one bit.

He ran up to him, lifting up the shaking boy slowly.

'Let's get you to the hospital buddy'

'No.. no.. thank you officer', he said hesitantly, and pulled away from Chan.

'Ok, sit down atleast.'

'What's your name?'

'Felix.'

'You're Changbin's friend!'

Lix glanced at him-
'How'd you know?'