Stray Kids Angst Collection

Alone (Jeongchan)

TW- Mentions of Domestic Abuse

'I hate you, I wish that you were never alive', Jeongin's mom yelled.

His heart shattered to a million pieces inside, but he just stared blankly into her eyes, like he didn't care.

'I never wanted to live, I never asked you to give birth to me!' he said coldly.

His mom scoffed at him, 'You are the most disgusting shit I've ever seen. If I were you I'd just kill myself.'

At that moment something inside him snapped, he smiled.

'You psycho! Why are you smiling, you crazy freak? you're just like your fucking father, it's all because of you that I had to keep that asshole in my life!'

Jeongin got up and smashed a mirror into the floor.

'You are the one who slept with that man! You are the psycho!'

His mom slapped him.

He wasn't able to control himself anymore, he started laughing. He could taste the blood in his mouth, and the blood leaking its way down his nose. It was all overwhelmingly funny- how pathetic his life was, how much his parents had beat him, and how things never changed.

'Get out! I never want to see you again'

And don't worry she scoffed, 'I'll keep sending you the gallons of money you've been using to get high, I hope it kills you one day'

He chuckled, wiping the blood away.

'I really hope that it does'

And he left, promising to never return to his mother's house. Again. But he always returned, desperate for love, which he would never get.

Before he knew it, Jeongin was in another bar drinking away and dancing with random girls. It was the only way he knew how to handle pain. He was used to being abandoned by everyone who was supposed to care for him, and here all people wanted to do was love him, even if it was just a superficial love, even if it was just for his money. And he didn't want to fall in love, honestly. Because any other kind of love he ever received was too painful, and at least in his life, that was the only kind of love that existed. His divorced parents always spoiled him with money, but that was all they could do to keep him away. And although he didn't want to admit it, getting drunk and waking up in another random girl's bedroom the next morning, was the only way he could combat that very scary loneliness.

And there was never a girl he couldn't get, and of course he never felt fulfilled by any of his ill fated relationships. He just used them to be able to feel something.

A tall mediocre girl approached him, 'Hi'

'Hello' he said, breaking out a bright dimpled smile.

'You having fun?'

'You bet'

She walked closer to him, such that their noses were almost touching. 'You want me?', she whispered.

IN smiled.

She pulled him into a kiss which he forced himself to return.

'Come on' she pulled him let's go to a room, 'somewhere more private', she smiled.

'I'm sorry' he said, 'I'm not really in the mood' not really drunk enough to agree to it.

She pressed herself into a kiss, this time aggressively.

He just returned it without thought.

After 5 minutes of making out, which would have soon turned into something else, a rough hand grabbed him and pulled him away from the kiss.