A Fighting Chance

Dreams

It's generally held that dreams are just illusions. Images created to process the millions of bits of information your brain takes in every day. They're not real, they didn't happen and they don't come true. Well I can honestly say, for the next few weeks, my dreams really did come true.

I moved into Diana's home and began my recovery. Agonisingly, it had to be slow and careful in order not to tax me. I had little set backs and it took 2 weeks of walking a little more each day just to get to the point I could walk at a decent pace for a couple of hours. Long enough to walk her dog and have a coffee half way. Tom was busy, wrapping a shoot down in the south of England but he came up when he could, sometimes just for a couple of hours but we made them count. Walking on the beach, going for coffee and sometimes just sitting in the garden, curled up together on a bench. We truly fell in love. With his loyal support and Diana's wonderful care, I made real progress, I got stronger and even surprised him by coming to visit him on the train one day. It took all day to get there and back but to walk to the set and see him in his element it was worth every agonising second.

About 3 months into my recovery, he came home for a long weekend. 4 whole days together. Bliss. Diana decided to use the time to visit Tom's sister who lived in London so we had the house to ourselves. I felt excited but also a little anxious. We'd never been alone 24/7 for such a long time. I felt like a nervous teenager again. Was this the moment that we would finally become a 'proper' couple? Tom had been kind and patient and seemingly unfazed that his girlfriend, for that's exactly how he described me to anyone who would listen, could do little more than hold hands and kiss. Sure we 'made out' sometimes when we were alone, slowly, gently and never going too far physically - after all neither of us wanted a repeat performance of me blacking out for days. Keeping my heart rate under control just holding his hand was hard enough!

Diana left mid morning, she would rendezvous with Tom for a little while en-route, then he would come on home to me. He duly arrived around 4pm to find me snoozing in the sunshine of the conservatory, lying on the large comfy sofa, music playing in the background. Becoming aware of a shadow crossing my face I opened an eye and looked up. He was leaning against the door post watching me sleep.

"You do know that's creepy stalker activity don't you? I laughed and he shrugged
"Just admiring the view!" He said and moved over towards me. I sat up, swinging my legs down so he could sit. He flopped down, rubbing his eyes and yawning. I turned and laid my head on his chest and he held it, his thumb stroking my cheek, making me melt.
"Man this week has been hard" he shook his head slowly " I have no idea where the time went. Last time I looked it was Monday and now? Some joker said it was Thursday today".

And of that, I am glad " I said, " that means I can have you all to myself for 4 whole nights." I closed my eyes and revelled in the thoughts now flooding my brain. Almost none suitable for family viewing I must admit. I heard a decidedly wicked "eheheh" then felt him move and his lips met mine. I relaxed into the kiss, his arms wrapping themselves around me and pulling me closer to him. If I was to pick anywhere in the world I wanted to live forever, this would be it, safe in his arms. After a few minutes we came up for air and I opened my eyes, still almost nose to nose with him, his eyes locked on mine.

"I love you" was all he said and I felt myself tremble, that never got old for me.

"I love you too"

"No, I REALLY love you Kate" he repeated, and I was a little confused, was there something I wasn't understanding? It seemed so.

"And I really love you? What's all this about Tom? Is there something you're not telling me?" I wasn't scared, I couldn't imagine anything bad was about to happen, I was just confused. I sat up, looking at him as he stood up and crossed to the window, suddenly looking as if he was about to face a firing squad. There was definitely something going on. Now I was less sure I wanted to hear it. "Tom, we have no secrets, we decided that long ago. Never take each other granted, never hide anything from each other. Life can be too short we said, so what's up? Whatever it is... tell me!" I almost shouted the last bit, purely because I was suddenly very very scared.

"Kate, darling, please - don't get worked up. It's not good for you" he pleaded, coming back to crouch at my side. "It's nothing bad, not really. It's just, well, I have come to realise that this isn't working. You here, me there, it's too much. For me, for you, for Mum." he sat on the sofa and my mind went into freefall. "She loves having you here, especially since Em and Sarah are so far away, but selfishly, I miss you." he took my hands and I swallowed the urge to panic. "I was thinking, now that you're stronger, you might, well, would you possibly, " his turn to swallow and lick his lips nervously " would you please move in with me permanently in London and we could live together and..." I silenced the babbling, nervous little boy with a kiss.

"Yes darling" was all I said, relieved and ecstatic in equal measure. I'd never dreamed this could actually be happening to me.

"Oh my God really?" he looked at me and dragged me onto my feet with him, whirling me round in his arms. "I'm - so - happy -" he said punctuating with kisses. I laughed

"And -I'm - going- to - be - sick if you don't stop spinning" I replied only half joking.

He stopped, putting me down gently and looking down at me. He paused, stroking my cheek, then he said softly "I cried at work yesterday." I frowned and he went on "I needed to be heartbroken. And you know what I thought of?" breathlessly I shook my head "losing you. I never want to lose you again, I've almost done that three times, once through my own stupidity." he took a gulp and continued "Please darling, never leave me? If I am stupid tell me, if I am thoughtless tell me, if I hurt you tell me. And if you EVER feel you are not the centre of my world, tell me" he kissed me softly "darling girl, you complete me".

"Oh Tom" was all I could say, no-one had ever spoken of feelings for me like that before and I was overwhelmed. I kissed him deeply "I promise never to leave you, never to be anything less than honest with you and always to love you more than you love me." I smiled in the kiss as he gave a little laugh.

"Impossible my Pet, I am a GOD!" Loki said as he carried me upstairs "and I intend to prove that right now".

Kicking the door open, his arms full and his lips on mine he laid me gently on the bed. For a moment he stood looking over me, his eyes burning with a passion that was only matched by my desire for him. Unbuttoning his white shirt, he dropped it on the floor along with his jeans I watched as he slowly removed the last of his clothes and lay beside me.

"your turn darling" Loki smiled "fair's fair my little Midgardian"

I liked this turn of events, very much. It briefly crossed my mind to ask him to bring his costume home the next time he could, but the thought only lasted a few seconds. As my shirt and jeans joined his and his mouth crashed onto mine, I couldn't think of anything other than breathing.

As we lay in spent each others arms later, listening to his gentle breathing as he slept, I wondered how I got so lucky. My life had done a complete 180 within a few months. I had a man who loved me and I loved him. I was about to move in with him and live a life full of love like I never had before. For the first time in my life, things were absolutely perfect. Too perfect. I would find that out shortly