Darling

Between the Bars

It was one of those nights where you're only half asleep. You can still feel time passing around you, but your breathing is slow and calm, and your eyes can't open. But it's not restful. You wake up feeling just as tired as when you went to bed.

That's exactly what happened to Darlene. She woke up that morning, her head pounding and her body sore. Her eyelids still heavy. But just for a second she forgot what happened. She forgot about the murder. About everything that went wrong, but that didn't last long when she turned her head and saw Dallas laying next to her, still asleep. Then it all came rushing back. Ponyboy being drowned. Johnny sitting in the grass with bloody hands. Bob bleeding out all over the concrete. Johnny and Pony being sent off to hide.

It was Monday, but she figured school most likely wouldn't be open today, given the events of last night. She wouldn't be going either way, given she was present at the scene. She couldn't help but continue watching Dallas sleep. He looked so calm, his features seemed softer. She wondered how he was so stress free. Maybe he had just been through enough to cope. She wished she could just cope. But it just keeps getting worse. That feeling in her chest growing more and more unbearable with each passing day.

As Darlene watched the rise and fall of his chest, a sudden knocking came from the bedroom door.

"Dallas!" It was Buck. "The buzz is out front. Say they're looking for you."

Darlene shut her eyes quickly so Dally wouldn't notice her staring.

"Sh*t." Dal mumbled, not wanting to get up or deal with the cops. "Alright, give me a few minutes!" He said back. He looked down at Darlene, snuggled up in the thin blanket.

Careful not to wake her up, he got up and put on a shirt. He wrote a little note in case he was taken to the station so she would have an explanation to being left alone. He placed the note on the bedside table, and quietly left the room.

---

The door shut and Darlene immediately opened her eyes. She read the note and sighed. She hoped the police believed him, because for once, he didn't commit the crime.

She knew she had to check in with Darry, just so he knew she was alive, but she was scared to go home. She hated it when he was mad at her, which was pretty often, it seemed. Ever since the passing of Mr. and Mrs. Curtis he'd been nothing but stressed, his patience thin. Darlene felt it made sense. He was thrown into parenthood, taking care of three kids at 18 without warning. She was so grateful to him, though she wished they could get along again. She wished Darry could hug her and tell her that everything will be okay, and that she isn't alone. But he won't.

She took her time getting up. It hurt to move and she had chills, but she wasn't sick. The flannel she wore was long enough to cover everything that needed to be covered, though she would've appreciated some pants, and Dallas was out being questioned by the police. There was no way she was walking home in nothing but a flannel.

I guess I'll just wait. Darry'll have to worry a little while longer.

Her throat felt dry. She couldn't remember the last time she drank water. It's been over 24 hours. She was tempted to go downstairs and get some, but didn't want to interact with anyone who might be down there. She didn't mind Buck. He'd never given her a reason to dislike him, but she knew there would be lots of hungover people down there from the party last night.

She walked to the bathroom and turned on the sink and held her hands under the cold water. Of course, that wasn't enough of a distraction. She turned the sink back off and stared into the dirty mirror. Her hair was messy— the braids Mary had put in were now loose and little strands of hair poked out, and that ribbon was no longer neatly tucked in the braided hair, but it was tangled, pulling uncomfortably on her scalp. Her right eye was bruised and watery, and the cut on her temple was caked with dried blood. It was sore and hurt when she raised her eyebrows.

Jesus Christ.

She bit the inside of her cheek, but it already was tender and sore from all the nervouse biting she had done the night before. She walked back out of the bathroom and layed back down in the creaky bed, wishing she could go lay in her own bed...without Darry hounding her with questions.

Just give me a break. Just let me rest.

---

The door shut. Darlene's eyes shot open. Dallas was back. He didn't look angry or frustrated, so that was a good sign. Darlene didn't wanna sit in a room with an angry Dallas Winston.

I must've fallen asleep.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Dally lit a cigarette and leaned against the wall.

"So...what did the cops say?" She asked him.

"They, uh, basically just asked me where I was last night and if I knew anything. Told 'em I was here and the boys were off to Texas." He smirked.

She nodded and yawned, still exhausted. She'd only been asleep for about an hour.

"You ready to go home now? You can't stay here forever." He chuckled.

Back to his cocky self.

"I guess," She got up and walked to the door. "Take the long way."

They walked down the stairs, Darlene made Dallas walk behind her because she didn't like the idea of old dudes looking at her from behind. Especially since she was lacking pants. They got in the car, a big step down from Mary's, and sped off.

"Jesus, you're such a scary driver."

---

He dropped her off and sped away. She opened the creaky gate, went up the wooden steps, and opened the door, trying not to hesitate and stall any longer. To her surprise, no one was home. She assumed Soda and Darry were at work, but it seemed so weird not seeing Johnny or Two sitting in the living room.

She walked down the hallway and sat in her room on the floor. She sat there in silence for almost an hour, thinking about everything that had happened. She so badly wanted a distraction. Or something to save her brother and best friend from this situation. Save them from being thrown in the cooler, because she knew they didn't deserve that.

It was self-defense.

She kept saying. Because it was true. The socs attacked them first. They were drowning Ponyboy. Not that anyone involved in this deserved death. All of them are kids.

"It's rough all over."

She remembered Cherry Valance say that to Pony once. That was true, but now if the cops catch the two greaser boys, they'll be the ones getting all the consequences.

She stood up and walked to the bathroom, angry with reality. She looked at her hair once more. The way it was pulling irritated her, and she just wanted to rip it all out, but she figured that wouldn't solve any of her problems. Her family's problems. She unwound the braids, carefully at first, but with each knot that stopped her from pulling the sections of hair apart, the more frustrated she became. The ribbon was completely tangled in her hair, and there was no way to get it out without scissors. She tugged on it and tugged on it, not wanting to cut it out. That, of course, didn't work out for her.

"Goddamn it!" She shouted, storming out of the bathroom. She grabbed the kitchen scissors and snipped off the bit of hair permanently attached to the purple ribbon. The threw it in the trash and went back to the bathroom. She attempted to brush her hair, but she grew impatient with herself, as her thoughts moved faster than she could. She dropped the brush in the sink and she covered her fave with her hands, not wanting to cry.

Darlene was exhausted. The more tired she was, the more sensitive she was, but there was no chance of her falling back asleep for now. She groaned and went back to her room.

"Please let Pony and Johnny be okay." She begged. She didn't know who she was begging to, or what. She didn't believe in God or anything like that, but she hoped the universe could pick up the tiny bit of will and hope she had left, and use it to her family's advantage.

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🥀🥀🥀

"The pressure of days, do what I say
And I'll make you okay and drive them away
The images stuck in your head"