Darling

A Held Breath

⚠️Mentions of death⚠️

Tonight. I don't like it one bit.

"Something awful's gonna happen." Darlene said, and Ponyboy nodded his head. He had the same gut feeling.

Darlene thought maybe it was just anxiety, but something really felt off. She could feel it.

"We're gonna stomp those socs. Everything's gonna be alright." Two-Bit said in attempt to comfort his friends.

The sun was going down and the temperature was dropping. Usually Darlene would be excited to get home and warm up, but she knew that later tonight her home would be filled with bloodied and beaten versions of her friends and family.

The group walked by a few kids that were play-fighting. Pony smiled at them.

"Tough little kids, huh?"

Two smiled and chuckled a bit. "Yeah. Future greasers."

"Ponyboy." Said a woman's voice. They watched someone get out of their car and walk to them.

"Hey, Two-Bit. Hi Darlene." It was Cherry.

None of them had spoken to her since Bob's death, or she hadn't spoken to them. It was strange. She didn't seem angry at them. She was still kind to them, even after what happened.

"What's up with the big times?" Two-Bit asked her. She frowned when they didn't say hi back.

"No weapons. They play your way. It's a fair deal."

"You sure about that."

She moved her red hair out of her face and nodded. "Well, Randy told me. He knows for sure."

"Good deal. Thanks Cherry." Two said, and the greasers began to walk away.

Right as Ponyboy walked past her, Cherry stopped him.

"Ponyboy, wait a minute. Come here, I want to talk to you."

Darlene and Two-Bit walked a little farther. They figured there was no harm in them chatting. They knew Ponyboy like Cherry. They stood by a tree and stared at the peaceful world around them.

"I'm scared." Darlene said.

"Scared?" Two-Bit shoved his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.

"Yeah. I'm scared about everything. Scared about Johnny, scared about my brothers, scared about my friends, hell, I've been neglecting Mary the past few weeks, and I'm scared for myself."

"Why are you scared for yourself?"

Darlene had to think about that for a bit. She didn't really know why. "I don't know. I just have this lingering feeling of dread. Like something real bad is gonna happen to me. Like Johnny. Selfish, I know." She said, looking at the trees around her.

"Nothin's gonna happen to you, Darling. You're not being selfish. And Johnny will be okay. He's tough."

She looked up at him, her face a mix of fear and frustration. "But you don't know that! Anything could happen! I could be driving around and get killed in a car accident, or I could say no to the wrong guy and get murdered, or maybe I'll end up killing myself! Everything is so uncertain!"

"Woah, woah." Two-Bit placed his hands on her shoulders. "Don't talk like that."

She just stared at him, her eyes begging for understanding.

Two sighed. "You're right. Life is uncertain. I'm not an idiot, I get that, but I promise you, we'll work everything out. We're all here to protect each other."

"But what about tonight? I want to help protect you guys. Let me do my part. You're always protecting me."

"What? Where is this coming from? You can't be in a rumble, I thought you were scared of dying? That's a death wish."

"Why? Because I'm a girl?"

He didn't say anything. Her face softened in defeat.

"Bullsh*t."

He took his hands off her shoulders. "Darling, I didn't mean it like that."

"Then what did you mean it like, Two-Bit?" Her eyes began to water.
"If I'm trapped in this loop of uncertainty, then why waste it?"

He didn't argue with her. He knew she was right. They stopped talking about it after that. Two-Bit didn't want to continue the conversation. He understood there was no way to stop her from doing what she wanted. None of the guys could protect her forever.

Darlene was terrified of the uncertainty of life, but she doesn't want to live life just sitting there and looking pretty. She wanted to make the most of uncertainty.

Ponyboy finished his conversation with Cherry and met back up with the other two. They walked home, barely speaking. Any excitement about the rumble had been drowned out by fear. At least for the Curtis siblings. But Darlene had a plan. She didn't know how it would go. She was uncertain.

---
🥀🥀🥀

"What have you discovered
In digging up that other life
A held breath in the night
And a seamless sky"

"What is found there
In the busy passing of the day
Something unnamed
The space we spend our lives
The space we spend our lives"