Darling

Memento Mori

That night he was taken to the hospital. Barely there. Not wanting to hold on, but subconsciously he did. Not for himself. Not for Johnny, because there was no reason to anymore. But for Darlene. He heard all her painful screams. The way she begged for him to stay. To not leave her. How she didn't want to lose him too. So he fought, and he wasn't even aware.

The ambulance came for him. Darlene begged to ride with him, but Darry wanted her to rest. Ponyboy was obviously sick. He was burning up and his hands were cold and clammy. He felt like sh*t and just wanted to lay down. Darlene didn't feel great about leaving Dallas, but Soda convinced her that the doctors would take good care of him.

"Then you have to let me visit him tomorrow. If he's..." Her voice trailed off, not wanting to let her mind go there.

"Of course." Her brothers said.

Darry carried Pony all the way back home. He was too tired and sick to walk that far. Darlene almost wished someone would carry her. Her knees felt weak and she was in pain from the rumble and couldn't wait to get into comfortable clothes and lay in bed.

They got to the house and no one said a word. Steve and Two decided to stay at the Curtis's for the night. Darlene was grateful for that because at this point she was afraid to let her friends out of her sight. They all sat in the living room for a bit together, none of them knowing what to say. All of them hurting. Soda and Steve were no longer talking non-stop, Two no longer joking trying to lighten the mood. Every one just sat in heavy silence. It all felt like a dream. Nothing felt real at all. Darlene felt like she was watching one really sad movie.

There's nothing left.

The room had an unsettling yellow undertone like a weirdly familliar nightmare, her eyes couldn't focus she was so tired. She wished her mom could tell her she'd be okay. Or have uer dad to tell her he was proud of her for being strong. Or to have Johnny here to give her a gentle hig of reassurance. None of those things can happen now. She felt so alone. She took a shakey breath and glanced at everyone one more time before walking off without saying a word.

She walked down the dark hallway to her room, hearing Pony snore from his room where Darry had tucked him into bed.

She felt so shakey. She couldn't tell of it was from being so afraid or if she was cold. Maybe both.

She walked through the doorway and into her cold bedroom. And stopped. She stood there, staring at the floor. Before she could even shut her door, a hurricane of emotions came rushing through her. It started out as a few sobs. Then her breathing grew heavy and fast. And before she knew it she was back on the floor, wailing. Screaming.

Darry came rushing down the hall to her room. As soon as he reached her, he knelt beside her, scooped her up and held her in a comforting hug.

"I want them back!" She yelled between her loud, painful sobs.

"I know. I know. Shhh, deep breaths." Darry soothed, doing his best to hold his composure himself to not further upset his little sister.

She continued to cry as Darry held her. The pain she felt was no longer just emotional, but so physically painful. She clung onto her older brother as tight as she could as if he would just dissappear if she let go.

The movement from her sobs hurt her stomach that was bruising from the kick she'd received earlier that night. But that wasn't enough to get her to stop crying.

She hadn't stopped crying until the wound on her tongue had started bleeding again. She quickly pulled away from the hug and touched her chin that was wet with fresh blood and tears.

"Oh, Darling, you're bleeding." Darry said and helped her up.

"I'm sorry." She said, pointing at the shoulder of his shirt that was now damp with tears.

"Don't worry about that, let's clean you up."

She nodded and went to the bathroom. Darry wiped the blood off her chin. She stuck out her tongue to show him the damage and he winced. She had bitten right through her tongue.

"You got yourself good." He said.

She put her tongue back in her mouth slowly, grimacing at the taste of blood and soreness of her mouth.

"We'll just have to let it heal. Here, rinse your mouth with water." He grabbed a small paper cup from the medicine cabinet and filled it with water.

She took it and swished the water around in her mouth before spitting it out into the sink and watching the pink water slide down the drain.

She was so tired, and she felt as if her knees could buckle beneath her any second.

"You should try and get some sleep. You need it." Darry tried to convince her.

"No, I can't." She whined in pain, closing her eyes tightly. She was scared that something bad would happen to Dallas, or someone else, or maybe even herself while she was sleeping. She felt she needed to keep an eye on everyone and them to keep an eye on her.

She looked up at her older brother with glassy eyes. "Can I sleep in the living room?"

"Of course." He said.

The two of them grabbed pillows and blankets and brought them out to the living room. Two and Steve were staying the night too, so she got to sleep on the chair as she was the only one who would be able to fit there semi-comfortably. She wrapped herself in her quilt and leaned against the pillow propped up on the arm of the chair. It didn't take long before Steve was snoring loudly, and Two had drifted off. Of course, Darlene couldn't fall asleep, even though she was so tired.

He stomach was sore from being kicked, her mouth hurt, her head pounded, and her eyes continued to water.

Don't take Dallas.

She begged.

She wishes she was a baby again. Her mom and dad would still be here. Johnny would still be here. Dallas wouldn't be dying. She wouldn't be able to feel all these scary feelings. It would all be better.

I guess that's just what we get.

---
🥀🥀🥀
"Everyone I love is gonna die
And I will die as well
I think about this before I sleep
And have since I was a child"