A/N: surpriiiiiise! listen to the music, its my current fav mitski song n i think it fits this chapter. thanks to mitskisloveforonions for writing this chapter with me. enjoy xox
✭·.·✫·゜·。..·。.·✭· Baddie B's POV ·✫·゜·。..·。.·゜✭·.·✫
I felt a stinging pain in my head, then everything went black. I saw breasts, felt warmth all around me... was i... in heaven? Oop nope i'm at a lingerie store. Or? Maybe its a changing room. I dont know, but whatever it was, I felt totally in my element. I'm not gay or anything, Whitney Chewston is my idol (i know what you are)!!! But I just feel more at home around women.
Hungry had awakened something in me, not in a homo way, just in a best buds who have period sex and then kill each other way. Its kind of the most hetero thing ever actually. Hanging out with her my fave thing to do, going shopping, seeing her trying on a white dress and imagining our wedding (haha wow i'm so goofy aha thats so random of me #quirky), jumping up and down on her bed and watching her magnificent mammaries bounce and sway not in a pervy way, in a girl best friends way.
Anyway i'm getting sidetracked ahaha. What i'm saying is, i was in a really nice place with a really bad headache and i had no idea how i got there. Suddenly i felt this bad bad feeling, super unlike the good good feeling i feel when i see hungry, and i knew something was very very wrong.
I spun around, trying to orient myself and figure out where i was, what was going on, where is hungry? There was a display with the words "wake up" printed in nicki minaj pink, what? I looked at the price tag of a bra near me and it too was telling me to wake up. I backed away staggering through the racks and racks of underwear. Everywhere i turned hot neon pink words shouted at me "wake up" "don't give up" "find hungry" i curled up in pain as my head began to throb even more, rocking with my head between my knees. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, I DON'T KNOW WHATS GOING ON" I sobbed and moaned, feeling like my head was being ripped apart.
Then suddenly i heard light chanting coming from the broom clozet. I entereded it half expecting to walk in on something but immediately found myself lying in the middle of a circle of red pentagrams and candles, and i immediately saw harry styles and niall horan from the band one erection and i also saw dhar mann and a girl with long brown hair.
"W-W-W-W-W-WHAT W-W-W-W-W-W-W-WHAT (say it like that nnnno jessie j video)!! WHATS GOING ON?" i sobbed. "Its owkay now, baddie b, yore sayfe." 'arreh stoiles said in his smooth rough voice. "Wey just sayved yore lief wif the power of saytahn" (A/N: i'm sorry if i'm going overboard with the accent jk no i'm not).
"This is moy girlfwiend eevah, she is moine,. Sow if yew deare tooch here then dhar mann will kill yew and this ritooual wouldve all bin a wayste." Harry mansplained.
"Hi" eva willingly beautifully exclaimed
My head stopped being weird and i could kinda understand what was going on. I think ive been reborn through a sanitiser ritual (oh my satin thats so goffik hungry would be so proud)and these guys are wanting something in return.
I am about to ask niall and harrreh what they want but before i can say anything, niall says "im sorry baddie but your one night stand enemy's to luvrs companion has killed hersaylf. She went splat. Pls dont die thoigh or ill kill you"
"Its ok i only ever liked her for her body anyways'" i willingly reply "anyways lets get to the point, what do you want. I know im just a stupid ugly dumb weird little munchkin but i hve common sense... and i know shrek and thanos personaally if you guys are fans?"
Harry and niall made eye contact. Eva looked really scared. "Dont worry eva, how about i take you home? You look really tired" dhar mann said. "Harry has some important things to do but he'll be back lated dw" dhar and eva then left me alone with harry and niall.
"Just to make things clear, i dont like you because your preps and if im friends with a prep hungry would be angry. Anyways, im guessing you want to meet thanos since shrek kinda is lame?"
"NO" they scream in unison. "How dare you insult our forever celebrity crush like that! We want to meet shrek. Alone. Tell us where he lives." they both said it at the same time so i was a bit sus but i gave them shreks address. "Just beware that annoying donke might be there but you could probably kill him or something since your sadisets anyway." i say
"Thanks and bye" they both decended into the multiverse. I then went to burger king because my gay bestie ben works there and gives me free stuff, plus i kinda have no friends. And my sex drive isnt really a thing anymore
YOU ARE READING
Fifty Shades of Hot Neon Pink || A Love Story || Collab WIP
Humorerm. this is kind of old pls don't judge us also everything is a joke. so. Co-written by @mitskisloveforonions (go check out the version on her profile, it's so sexy), @arielcarter04, and @DAPODDIE, PG version available. Now on AO3: https://archive...
