Professor Black: A Reader Insert

25. Hunger of Wolves

The spring term started after a warm Christmas with the distinct feeling of loss, Severus seems to have been keeping his distance since the incident in November. (y/n) was ever faithful to the process but something rested below her skin, making her shift more often for now daily early morning walks. She had made a den, just outside of the centaur's territory and was busy making it a place of comfort for herself.

January saw Harry learning the Patronus charm and with no further interactions between (y/n) and her mate, causing the already somewhat emotionally unstable dire to start pulling out her fur while she was shifted. The lack of contact with him was building a void in the pit of her stomach that made her feel numb. She knew he was busy with the wolfsbane potion for Remus, but it didn't help that she felt like it was her fault that he was keeping his distance.

'Not good enough.' echoed through her mind so loudly that she was surprised that someone didn't notice it.

The patches of fur that she would pull left rashes on her human skin that was covered in bloody pinpricks, the pain reminding her that she was alive throughout the day. 

February came with a concerned Remus asking to have some tea with her.

"What's wrong Puff?" He asked after the tea was poured.

"What?" (y/n) tilted her head in confusion.

"I smell the blood and I know damn well that it's not from a certain time of the month." He was blunt. "It's freshest in the morning, what's happening?"

"I wish I knew." her voice was small, smaller than he'd ever thought possible.

"Did Severus do something?" He asked cautiously ready to rip whatever tenuous respect the two men held between them.

"Heavens no. Severus didn't do anything wrong." She said aghast at such an accusation.

"Then you are pulling out your fur when you go on those walks every morning, I thought there was something off with your coat. I'm here to talk to you if you need an ear you know." Remus leaned forward to place his elbows on his knees as he spoke as if this was some secret he was ready to keep.

"You've enough to worry about. I appreciate your concern, but I'd appreciate it more if you used your big heart for the students." She stood. "I need some air, leave when you've had your fill."

She quickly made her way out of her office leaving Remus there. Where Severus found him mulling over something about an hour later with a flower that the potion's master was planning on giving (y/n) by way of apology for his absence.

"Why are you here?" his monotonous voice sounded through the room.

"I tried to intervene regarding harmful behavior a certain dire is exhibiting. She ran. Now I'm wondering what could possess someone to pull out their fur to the extent that she has been and the only thing I can think of is being rejected, so I'll ask you this once. What did you do?" Remus's voice was hollow as he leveled a heavy gaze at the man who stood in the doorway.

"I didn't reject her if that's what you're thinking, Lupin." Severus crossed his arms.

"Did you tell her that?" Remus sighed before shaking his head and standing to leave.

"Where is she?" Severus asked as he stepped aside for the other man.

"I wouldn't know," Remus answered honestly.

(y/n) missed one of Harry's games for the first time since he joined the quidditch team. She was curled up in her den as the strangest feelings washed over her. That's when it dawned on her why she was having all of these issues. It's her first season or a false season, given how she feels like she's going to suffer far too much to seduce Severus the latter wouldn't surprise her. This was a time of a certain hunger for her.

The morning of Valentine's Day found her plodding slowly to her den where she found a less billowy Severus holding an extra cape that he wouldn't mind losing for some time.

'Why are you here, Rus?' She asked tilting her head slightly as she sat back on her haunches far enough away so that he wouldn't notice her thinning coat.

"I came to apologize, I've been distant and I recently learned that my attempts at lessening your stress are for naught." He said, his heartfelt remorse laid bare underneath his monotone drawl.

'You will never be a source of my stress.' She gave a low whine as she stretched her nose towards him trying to comfort him.

"I was this time Puff," Severus said, his voice barely above a whisper. "And I didn't notice how that was affecting you even if I was always watching you."

(y/n) felt all of the emotions raging inside him and made a decision that put him off guard. She stood and nosed him into the den shrinking some to fit in there with him. After he had laid out the cloak, she entered as well and wrapped around him with a lick to his cheek.

"Shift back for me, Love." He hummed running his hand through her fur unable to stop the pang of hurt in his heart when he noticed just how thin it had gotten from hitting him hard.

She did as asked and shifted back, her (e/c) eyes meeting his for a moment before he buried his face into her chest as he breathed a shaky breath.

"I missed you, Love. I won't keep my distance again. I hated it."

"Why did you?" she let her fingers run slowly through his hair as she spoke.

"Well, Ceres mentioned something and it got me thinking and I've been researching it." 

"What have you been researching?"

"Potions for a certain adult activity that aren't harmful or damaging in the long term for either of us. As you can tell there isn't exactly a slew of other contraceptive methods that we have access to while here and I'd rather make sure there isn't any side effects from using muggle products since that's an untapped well of research topics and I don't want to hurt you from our efforts of playing it safe." He rambled rather easily, hanging onto her tightly.

"Ceres mentioned-"

"To be frank, she threatened my life if I 'gave her siblings too soon'." he cut her off rather quickly.

"I love the faith that girl has in me." The deadpanned tone she had made him huff a chuckle. "I am the only person to graduate with full marks and with straight O's years before I should've and my own daughter thinks me irresponsible enough to-"

"I think, it's more a distrust of men than a lack of faith in your abilities to not suffer an untimely bundle of joy, or three. Which is understandable." Severus cut her off again as one of his hands rubbed soothing circles on her back.

"I forget sometimes in my desire for them to have a normal childhood that it isn't really possible with them knowing everything. They do play along with my silly desires though which is nice of them."

"And ours will have as normal a childhood their species will allow." She couldn't stop those silly warm fluttery feelings in her heart as he spoke so assuredly.

"Ours?" She didn't sound desperate, did she?

"As much of a dunderhead I've been Puff, I'm not that dense. The twins have been mentioning us being parents together for nigh on three years. I wouldn't mind practicing if I'm to be perfectly honest, but I want to make sure you know for certain that I don't expect you to time things right on your own. I'm here too, this is also my responsibility as a participating party." Severus said, his voice soft as he finally met her gaze with his own pleading one.

"Rus, you're making it difficult for me to not rip your robes off." She muttered like a prayer before leaning her head to where she could snog his face off.

"I promise, I'll have something figured out in that department soon." He rumbled this promise to her once they pulled away for a brief moment for air before their lips collided in a promising passion for the future.

They reluctantly left the den before they got too carried away after Severus nibbled a sign of his affection on the skin over her collar bone, something that he found he rather enjoyed doing and inspired him to work twice as hard on his research so he could cover her in such markings of his love. Something that (y/n) wished to reciprocate if only to make him see how she felt about him wholly. So her lizard brain's desire to procreate with the potion's master is still there but greatly muted by the presence of children. This season will hurt like a bitch.