I'm gonna take on the world

No one just goes around wearing their flaws on them

Today (outfit 11) we sat in class our teacher was telling us it was getting closer to graduation and the award ceremony. Award ceremonies are a scam! Maya exclaimed. Girls like Farrah and I we never get a chance Matthews never had a chance! Don't bring me into this please Maya?! Then she turns to Riley. We're doing this come on no matter how ridiculous it is. Riley turned back to me. G-D Ri please don't?! I begged her. Nope yep come on. Don't let your friends get in trouble my themselves. I heard Shawn's voice in the back of my head. Ok alright here we go I guess we're doing this. I slam my hands on the desk as Riley joins me as it was her idea and Maya's idea to make it her idea.

Both: Awards are a scam! Girls like Maya and I (Maya and Farrah) never stand a chance Matthews! We (they) never stand a chance! But he calms us down by telling us that Maya was getting the totally cool award. And that I was getting the mysterious award. You've taken the middle school world of John Quincy Adams by storm Ms. Luna and yet we still know not enough about you. You're a mystery worth figuring out. He tells me. Maybe you've just been told you're winning the totally cool award and yet you just sit there?! Riley questions. It works for Farrah she's acting mysterious and I guess that means you're being cool. Why won't you rub off on me? Either of you? She questions again. And then he goes to Lucas and this boy Billy that are our finalists for the athletics award or whatever.

At the sounding of the awards we all clap for them. Lucas claims he hates competition and then they two lean in go back laugh stop lean in lean back and laugh again then stop. Then they do their own little handshake of awesomeness as they put it. You know girls should have their own awesome handshake. Maya starts. I wonder what it would be? Riley asks. Then we flip our hair and all go all: stop it. And then he said Farkle won the confidence only he wasn't physically in the classroom. Farkle had a mic on his desk and was speaking into it. Cory asked where he was and he gave an automatic recorded message thing that said his question would come in 35 mins. Where is he Farkle has never missed a day of school. The bell rang and Riley was disappointed that she wasn't getting anything and the rest of her friends were. Not that she needed a reward. Yes I do sometimes I feel invisible.

Sometimes you want to be invisible Riley trust me! Farkle and I commented together. Great minds think alike Farrah he tells me. I frown and rub my arm. In the janitor closet Farkle was talking to Harley he was worried about how he could never understand how he feels. Because you don't think I could possibly know how cruel kids could be Harley asked Farkle. You were like me? Let's just say I know the feeling and I'm not proud of how I know. When my friends all came together I was not with them. Lucas checked the library Billy admitted he wasn't trying because he checked the baseball field. Harley came out with Farkle saying he was giving him back to our friends because they had time for this. I sat against the lockers staying quite. Head leaning against them a frown.

Lucas called him buddy and Farkle asked if he was his buddy. Which confused Farkle. When Maya asked him what was wrong he lied and said someone made fun of his turtlenecks that they thought he was weird. Maya reminded him he was weird and he knew it. But he wanted to know what was good about being unique if someone knows you're really not. Preaching to the choir there Farkle. Sometimes its better to fit in and fade into the background instead of standing out. You don't want people to know who you even if everyone knows exactly who you are yet they know nothing if that makes sense. Is this a mysterious thing? Riley asked me. You can believe whatever you want Riley any answer is correct. Riley and Maya spent the night at Maya's Auggie was at his grandparents so her parents were alone and loving it. I was at home picking up more food to make dinner and getting out my homework listening to my books. Showering drawing anything art. Burning CDs cause I act and sing and that's something I want to do with the rest of my life.

But I was thinking about asking Shawn to homeschool me again. I was starting to believe I didn't belong there. If for no other reason because of what Cory said about me and the award I was getting. Don't get me wrong I was happy about that but I knew what Farkle was going through I'd gone through that for the first 5 years of my life and I wondered about Shawn all the time. But there they were at home alone until Ava walked in and told them that her mom said they would be happy to watch Ava while her mom yelled at her dad about everything they were doing wrong. How long is that going to take? Topanga asked her. It's supposed to stop? Ava asked her. That was a problem. But they were nice people so they were gonna do whatever Ava said. Even though Ava and Topanga both wanted to throw Ava out. I was invited to spend the night with the girls but I told them I wasn't feeling good. Shawn wasn't too worried about my behavior cause I'm kind of quiet as a person anyways and he didn't want to pry until something didn't seem right.