The hunger games; growing together

20- doubts

Autumn has finally arrived, the sunshine long gone. I am now 7 months pregnant with this baby girl- who we have decided to call Lily.

Today we are going shopping for baby stuff, and by the looks of it now some new maternity clothes for me. As I try to squeeze into one of my T-shirts, I realise I need to borrow one of Peeta's to go out today.

Peeta pokes his head around the door and sees my struggle, giggling and the sight.

"Excuse me, what's so funny?" I ask, slightly irritated. Recently everything is annoying me. Peeta raises his hands to show his innocence.

"Nothing nothing! Are you ready to go?". He asks.

"In a minute!!" I shout down.
——
Eventually, wearing Peeta's oversized T-shirt, I am ready to go.

I feel so unprepared, I know nothing about babies, how am I going to have one of my own. I feel overwhelmed when we arrive at the baby shop, so much to choose from.

I leave Peeta to make all the decisions, my chest feeling heavier and heavier as he points  out more things which I don't know.

"I'm going to get some air" I say and rush out the shop. I sit in a quiet space where no one is and let the tears fall.

10 minutes later Peeta has found me with a trolley full of baby things. As he sees the state I'm in he immediately embraces me in a hug.

"Katniss what happened?" He asks gently.

"Peeta I know nothing. I'm so unprepared! In 2 months she's going to be here Peeta, but I don't know how to care for her. Im going to be an awful mother. I-"

Peeta shakes his head. "Katniss none of us has any experience. And that may seem scary but it's okay. We don't have to know everything straight away, there is a learning opportunity, one mistake won't hurt the baby. But I promise, when she's here those maternal instincts will naturally kick in, and it will seem you have done this ten times before. I love you and this baby" he says will rubbing my now large stomach.

"I can't wait to see what the future holds".