To Hell and Back Again

Chapter Twenty- Five

TW: MENTION OF D.V.

Steve stood over the stove, scraping around eggs, peppers, tomatoes, and chives in a pan. He glanced up to see Dustin stumble down the stairs, he paused and took a deep breath. He smiled at the smell of breakfast and walked over into the kitchen and started pouring coffee into Steve's Best Mom mug. Steve took the cup out of Dustin's hand and took a drink. "Thanks!" Steve smirked as Dustin's face showed a defeated look. He walked away sad and sat down on the couch. Eddie stumbled down the stairs a couple minutes later as Steve separated the eggs onto three different plates. He placed himself behind Steve, nuzzling his face into the crook of Steve's neck. "Good morning." Steve smiled as he placed a kiss on Eddie's cheek.
"You're being too loud." Eddie groaned rubbing his forehead. Steve gave him a confused look with furrowed brows as he handed Eddie a plate. He focused on Eddie's face- his under eye bags, the soft stubble on his chin, the messy hair. He leaned in and gave Eddie a kiss, summing up his suspicions.
"Were you drinking last night?" Steve smacked his lips tasting a faint alcohol flavor.
"No." Eddie lied as he walked into the dining room, sitting at the table. Steve shot a look over to Dustin who was making that classic I dunno face he does. Steve handed a plate to Dustin then took his own plate and coffee mug to the table. "This is really good, Steve." Eddie complemented as he tilted his head down.
"It really is." Dustin followed as he shoved the eggs into his mouth. Steve stared at Eddie who he knew was lying. He knew when Eddie lied. He fidgeted his rings as he moved his eyes to Dustin and nodded as a thanks. "Is everything okay?" Dustin asked as he took another bite of the eggs.
"Yup." Steve stood up and walked into the kitchen, scraping his eggs into the trash then heading up the stairs. Dustin looked over at Eddie who was unbothered. Dustin finished off his eggs and left his plate, following Steve up the stairs. He opened the door to Steve's room and looked around, not seeing Steve. He closed the door then went to the guest room, still no Steve. He glanced down the hall to see the door to Steve's parent's room open a crack. He opened the door to see Steve through the window. He was sitting on the roof, looking down at his backyard. Dustin opened up the window and crawled out onto the roof with him.
"This is dangerous." Steve looked over at Dustin and smiled.
"Hey..." He held out his hand to help Dustin. He sat down next to Steve and pulled his knees up to his chest. "You know if I jump off the roof from right here I can land in the pool." Steve pointed down at the pool.
"You'd probably break your legs." Dustin smiled with his wide, goofy grin.
"Why don't we try?" Steve smiled as he elbowed Dustin's side.
"Absolutely not." Dustin focused on Steve's puffy eyes. "Were you crying?" He was shocked that Steve was showing emotion. He was showing emotion in front of Dustin and not trying to hide it.
"Yup." Steve choked back his tears and looked over at Dustin with a weary smile. "There's things happening between me and- Eddie and I and I don't know why." Steve looked down at the pool that was greening due to poor pool maintenance. He fidgeted with the rings on his hand.
"Well, i'd give you advice but I'm not sure if I'm the best." Dustin referenced his fresh breakup, letting himself feel a little sad. He felt his chest get tight. "Steve, you and Eddie are gonna be fine."
"I don't think so, Dustin." Steve let his tears go, running down his cheeks and dripping onto his shirt. "He's been so different. He's been so distant and no matter what- what I do he just..." Steve exhaled with a sob and put his hands over his face to cover them. "He just- isn't him." Steve looked over at Dustin, wiping the tears from his face.
"What do you mean?" Dustin put his hand on Steve's back.
"Here I go crying and you're the one who just got broken up with." Steve laughed and wiped his sleeve across his face. That stung Dustin a bit - the mention of him and Suzie - but he was here for his friend.
"It's okay." Dustin moved his body closer to Steve, allowing him to lean his head on Dustin's shoulder.
"He's been... distant. He says these things that makes me think he doesn't want to be with me." Steve looked down into the pool. The sun was captivating against the chilly water. Wind blew slightly as the air started to get cold.
"Like hell I've been distant." Eddie said from inside the window. Steve turned around and wiped his cheeks off again. "Dustin, go down stairs." Eddie snapped as they both crawled back into the house. Dustin looked at Steve and Steve nodded, telling him to go. "What the fuck are you talking about?" Steve didn't like this version of Eddie, the angry Eddie.
"Don't yell at Dustin." Steve watched as the small boy walked quietly towards the door. "You can't tell me you haven't been distant?" Steve pleaded as he looked towards Dustin who was standing at the top of the stairs, looking towards Steve worried.
"No! I haven't! I've done nothing but try to work through things with you! You just..."
"So working through things is sitting in silence! Not talking to me about your feelings!" Steve raised his voice but it broke his heart to do so. He wanted the old Eddie back. Eddie would have never confronted anyone about issues he was having. He would have never raised his voice at someone.
"Jesus FUCKING Christ, Steve. You're the one who said our love was fake! You're the one who gets so fucking emotional over nothing! You're like a fucking girl with all your emotions and I have to keep up with that shit?" Eddie rubbed his forehead with aggravation.
"And when something happens you act like nothing happened! You just brush it off! We don't talk about it. Eddie, I love you but I c-can't keep living here with you in complete silence. When we do talk it's not serious, it doesn't get the attention it needs." Steve fiddled with his ring.
"Because I can't talk about it with you!" Eddie yelled back as he looked down at Steve's fidgety hands.
"Why? Why not?" Steve cried out as he stepped closer to Eddie.
"Because you act like this! You get all defensive and you-you cry about shit!" Dustin looked over from the staircase.
"Because I don't want to lose you... I don't want to lose you again, Ed. I have these dreams that you like drop dead and I can't do anything to stop it. I have those dreams every fucking night. Do you think I like being worried about you every single day? Every single moment you're alive I get worried that something is going to happen to you. I get anxious when someone looks at you wrong, Ed." Steve threw his hands up in the air, causing Eddie to flinch. "I-I'm sorry, Ed." Steve immediately noticed Eddie's flinch. Eddie backed away from Steve. "I'm not going to touch you, you know that."
"Fuck you. Fuck you, Steve, and your bullshit. You're a mess and you blame it on me, you blame your problems on me." Eddie turned and started to walk out of the room. Steve stood silently in the room as he looked down at his shaky hands. He turned to see Dustin in the doorway. Dustin walked to Steve, grabbing him and wrapping his arms around Steve. He stood shocked, unable to speak.
"He- he left?" Steve looked down at Dustin with wide eyes and shaky breath. "What did I do?"